Ladies and gents, I've tried not to stand on my soap box too much with the blog. I don't think it's the right media to push an agenda. But JourneyMama's post today inspired me to say a few words. There is so very much extreme poverty and injustice in the world. Every 3 seconds a child dies from the effects of extreme poverty - through malnutrition, starvation, unclean water supply, lack of access to medicine - that means that while you've read this sentence 3 children have died preventable deaths. Trafficking in human beings is now the 3rd largest money-making business in the world, behind arms and drug trafficking. That includes children being trafficked into sex slavery as well as women forced into prostitution.
One picture I'll never get out of my head is an elderly man in Kiev bending down to lick melted ice cream of the pavement. That's poverty. Of course, there are plenty of people in the world who would be jealous of a meal like that. If you think you're poor or struggling for resources, think again. Whoops! 5 more children just died from poverty-related causes.
So I ask you, what are you, personally, doing to contribute to the solution? You can be a part of the solution, or your complacency can be a part of the problem. Step up, take a stand. Get involved. My personal favorites are NightLight, Trade As One, International Justice Mission, World Relief, and World Vision. If none of that appeals to you, google Servants Anonymous, CARE, Food for the Hungry, and there are plenty of other organizations out there vying for support. Choose one. Choose more if you want. But don't just sit there sipping coffee behind your 17" DSL empowered screen. Do something. One person can have effect transformative change on the world.
Post a comment. Tell me what cause you've been supporting or plan to support. Let the blogosphere know. Your silence encourages complacency.
Showing posts with label religion. Show all posts
Showing posts with label religion. Show all posts
Friday, March 16, 2007
Friday, March 09, 2007
Today's ministry
My floors are swept and mopped, my family room and kitchen are (mostly) decluttered. My guest bedroom is dusted and the furniture is polished. My guest bath is about half way scrubbed. But it's Friday. I like to leave Saturdays for family time, and I'm happy to have the luxury to do so. And Sunday is the Sabbath. So today, I have to prepare my home for the weekend. Or, as mentioned in an earlier post, I want to work for the Sabbath.
So, my tasks for today are... clean the toys out of the front yard, sweep the back deck, clean my shower, do umpteen loads of laundry, tidy the playroom and Bean's room (with her help... we'll see how that works out), plan and prepare dessert for tomorrow's party, and begin the arduous task of decluttering the master bedroom.
It's ambitious, I know. But the good news is that it isn't done begrudgingly or out of "kitchen slavery" as the Soviet posters would have you believe, but out of my desire to create an environment that is calming to my family and provides a suitable 'sanctuary' for the Sabbath. So this is my ministry. Today. We'll see about tomorrow when it comes.
Edited 5:32 PM: Little Man's doctor appointment took 2 full hours, and that was after Bean had a 'needy' morning with lots of attention. After a late lunch for all of us and my first round of antibiotics, I was beat and took a little 'catnap' while the kids slept. For 2 hours. So much for my domestic ministry today. Now, I'm off to cook dinner and throw together tomorrow's party dessert. Oh well.
So, my tasks for today are... clean the toys out of the front yard, sweep the back deck, clean my shower, do umpteen loads of laundry, tidy the playroom and Bean's room (with her help... we'll see how that works out), plan and prepare dessert for tomorrow's party, and begin the arduous task of decluttering the master bedroom.
It's ambitious, I know. But the good news is that it isn't done begrudgingly or out of "kitchen slavery" as the Soviet posters would have you believe, but out of my desire to create an environment that is calming to my family and provides a suitable 'sanctuary' for the Sabbath. So this is my ministry. Today. We'll see about tomorrow when it comes.
Edited 5:32 PM: Little Man's doctor appointment took 2 full hours, and that was after Bean had a 'needy' morning with lots of attention. After a late lunch for all of us and my first round of antibiotics, I was beat and took a little 'catnap' while the kids slept. For 2 hours. So much for my domestic ministry today. Now, I'm off to cook dinner and throw together tomorrow's party dessert. Oh well.
Friday, February 23, 2007
All hail the BBC!
Okay, maybe that's an overstatement. But, I'm so excited about this story published by the BBC - it's taking on one of the issues closest to my heart, and takes its example from NightLight, who I've been advocating for since last summer, in partnership with Trade As One. Take a few minutes and read the story. It glosses over it a bit, but a lot of what this article is talking about deals with very young children. It's heartbreaking, but the hope that NightLight provides is uplifting. And, the more jewelry they sell through Trade As One, the more young girls they can rescue.
Saturday, February 17, 2007
Changes
What do you do when everything in your life seems to be shifting? What do you do when you were perfectly happy when the ground beneath your feet was solid but suddenly starts to quake? Change comes in lots of forms, that's why there are so many words to describe it - progress, turmoil, adjustment, development, modification, evolution... Some of them imply positive change, others - negative.
I don't think we can describe the change in our lives until we're on the other side of it. At one point it might seem like progress, then we get through it and realize that it actually caused turmoil. Or vice versa.
I'm in a place where the ground seems to be shifting beneath my feet. All I can do is hold on and enjoy the ride. I don't know where the shift will take me, but I can rely on my stoic yet inspiring husband to be the constant in all of this, and that reminds me how very blessed I am.
As I look into the relatively near future, I see that major change might be on the horizon and I feel entirely insecure. I cling to the promises I know though - "I know the plans I have for you, plans for welfare and not for calamity, to give you a future and a hope." Why is that all I see is calamity? There's a lot to be said for stepping forward with faith. Moses did it. God didn't separate the waters of the Red Sea until the Israelites stepped into the water. Surely all they could see was calamity. But at least they had a pillar of fire by night and a pillar of cloud by day. Where are my pillars? How do I know I'm going in the right direction? There's a lot to be said for stepping forward in faith. I just hope I can muster that faith and guide my children well into what looks like calamity. To alter a saying, it looks like calamity, it sounds like calamity, but the right answer must be Jesus!
Here's to hoping I can step out in faith. On my knees today, seeking His will.
I don't think we can describe the change in our lives until we're on the other side of it. At one point it might seem like progress, then we get through it and realize that it actually caused turmoil. Or vice versa.
I'm in a place where the ground seems to be shifting beneath my feet. All I can do is hold on and enjoy the ride. I don't know where the shift will take me, but I can rely on my stoic yet inspiring husband to be the constant in all of this, and that reminds me how very blessed I am.
As I look into the relatively near future, I see that major change might be on the horizon and I feel entirely insecure. I cling to the promises I know though - "I know the plans I have for you, plans for welfare and not for calamity, to give you a future and a hope." Why is that all I see is calamity? There's a lot to be said for stepping forward with faith. Moses did it. God didn't separate the waters of the Red Sea until the Israelites stepped into the water. Surely all they could see was calamity. But at least they had a pillar of fire by night and a pillar of cloud by day. Where are my pillars? How do I know I'm going in the right direction? There's a lot to be said for stepping forward in faith. I just hope I can muster that faith and guide my children well into what looks like calamity. To alter a saying, it looks like calamity, it sounds like calamity, but the right answer must be Jesus!
Here's to hoping I can step out in faith. On my knees today, seeking His will.
Sunday, February 11, 2007
Inspirations
George Verwer spoke today at Perimeter. I'd have to say it ranks up there as one of those 'turning point' moments. It was Global Outreach Sunday, and the Global Outreach team (think 'missions') handed out country specific boxes to everyone. You could choose between one of Perimeter's 8 partner countries/regions (Thailand, China, India, Guatemala, Tanzania, Poland, Central Asia, or the Arab world) and the box contains things like a country specific prayer calendar, piggy bank, fridge magnet. It was really well done.
The worship was amazing today - the worship team really outdid themselves, and there was so much energy in the congregation! It was awesome. There was a powerful time of prayer for the partner countries, and after that, George Verwer stepped up. George is the founder of Operation Mobilisation, and a highly respected missiologist and theologian. Come to find out today, he's also a bit eccentric and really fun to be around. In fact, one of the questions he asked today was "Why are American [Christians] so boring?" As he said, Hudson Taylor could walk through the door and no one would so much as bat an eye. George is, by the way, an American, though he's lived overseas for the last 46 years.
He gave a challenge, at the heart of which is a longing for more holistic missions, to adopt one of the seven people on the side of the road. Using the text about the good Samaritan who comes across a stranger who's been robbed and beaten up, he expanded that to say that today there are seven strangers on the side of the world. They are:
I shook his hand after the service (I shook George Verwer's hand!). And then when I got home I sent him an email about Trade As One and NightLight. I don't know if he'll find either compelling enough to get involved. But if he does... man, can he motivate people and get them on board!
The worship was amazing today - the worship team really outdid themselves, and there was so much energy in the congregation! It was awesome. There was a powerful time of prayer for the partner countries, and after that, George Verwer stepped up. George is the founder of Operation Mobilisation, and a highly respected missiologist and theologian. Come to find out today, he's also a bit eccentric and really fun to be around. In fact, one of the questions he asked today was "Why are American [Christians] so boring?" As he said, Hudson Taylor could walk through the door and no one would so much as bat an eye. George is, by the way, an American, though he's lived overseas for the last 46 years.
He gave a challenge, at the heart of which is a longing for more holistic missions, to adopt one of the seven people on the side of the road. Using the text about the good Samaritan who comes across a stranger who's been robbed and beaten up, he expanded that to say that today there are seven strangers on the side of the world. They are:
- At risk children
- Abused women
- AIDS/HIV patients
- the extreme poor
- those who lack clean water
- the unborn
- the environment
I shook his hand after the service (I shook George Verwer's hand!). And then when I got home I sent him an email about Trade As One and NightLight. I don't know if he'll find either compelling enough to get involved. But if he does... man, can he motivate people and get them on board!
Saturday, February 03, 2007
Can spanking really be made a crime?
I must admit, I've been a blog slacker lately. Honestly, 2 weeks and no posts! Shame on me... On the other hand, in the last 2 weeks I've accomplished quite a bit outside of the blog world (coincidence? I think not...) The good news is that my house is cleaner and more organized than it's been in many many months. My kids have had lots and lots of 'mommy time,' and I've managed to get my 'mompreneur' business idea rolling. Yippee! But I'm back. I missed blogging - really, I did. It may be a somewhat dysfunctional excuse for community, but that's okay.
Since I've been 'away,' a bill has been put forward in California to outlaw spanking. The idea behind the bill is nice - curb child abuse by making it illegal to ever hit a child. And for the sake of our children, perhaps child abuse laws should be re-evaluated and social workers be given a little more resources to do their jobs. However, banning corporal punishment isn't the answer.
My position on spanking... as a last resort, when other means of correction have been exhausted, a child who is able to discern right from wrong in a given situation may need something as harsh as a spanking to teach and correct behavior. I'm well aware that the American Academy of Pediatrics and virtually every psychologist on the planet advise against it. But let's face it, as parents we have to teach our children right from wrong. We have to teach them to avoid things that are harmful to themselves or others. Never in a million years would I have thought I'd ever need to spank the Bean. But I was wrong. I've only officially spanked her once. But she has gotten a mild pop on the well-diapered rear twice. And it killed me to do it! I've been told by moms with older kids that the key to avoiding spanking is being creative with discipline. Perhaps I'm not creative enough. Please, share your creative discipline tips with me. For the sake of wisdom and for my kids' wellbeing.
If you are going to spank, I think the following is pretty well accepted as guidelines: Don't spank out of anger or emotion. Examine the child's motives for their behavior. Examine your own role in your child's behavior (if your kid is hungry and you skipped naps today, you can't expect him to be an angel). Use loving words and assure your unconditional love for the child before and after spanking. Be more liberal with hugs and cuddles than you are with spanking. Vary your discipline techniques - there's more to discipline than time outs and spanking.
Let's go back to that bill in California. What would happen if the bill was passed? Potentially, neighbors, store clerks, etc. would start reporting well-meaning parents for any possible infringement of the law, adding enormous work loads for already overworked social workers and police officers. Spanking, already a taboo topic among all but very close friends, would become even more taboo, leaving many parents without the much needed counsel and wisdom of friends. Would that really help the situation? Honestly, the parents who fret and worry about whether or not it's okay to spank are worlds different than the parents who abuse their children without batting an eye. Changing the law will not hinder them in the least. It would only deepen the stigma we feel when our children's behavior is dangerous enough to necessitate some sort of discipline that will get their attention.
Here's a link to a news story about the bill, and one to NPR's radio coverage of it. All Things Considered had commentary from a woman who was a meditative Eastern Orthodox Christian, saying that though she has spanked her son once and won't apologize for it, she is inherently against spanking. She claimed that anyone who believes in seeking God should be focused on the inner life - the life of the spirit - and that spanking is the opposite of this and teaches our kids the opposite. While I won't call her a meditative fruitcake, I do think her theology is a bit skewed. God isn't concerned only with the spiritual side of life - He's very much involved with, sovereign over, and concerned about our physical lives. He deeply loves our children, perhaps more than we as parents do. And just as He chastens His followers and requires us to feel the consequences of our actions, He expects us as parents to do the same for our children. The Bible actually says "Don't fail to correct your children. They won't die if you spank them. Physical discipline may well save them from death." (Proverbs 23: 13-14, NLT) The rod mentioned throughout Proverbs is the same as the one mentioned in the oft-quoted Psalm 23 "Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death ... Your rod and your staff, they comfort me..." The idea behind it is that we are comforted by knowing that God is just and He is in control. His rod is a symbol of authority, and knowing that the authority you're under is consistent, just, and loving is incredibly freeing and comforting. And so it is for our children. We must discipline, and that discipline must be fitting and appropriate to both the situation and the child.
Again, I'll restate my plea from above. Moms and dads, share some ideas of creative discipline you use. Anything goes, as long as it doesn't involve inflicting physical pain. Tell me what you do, and what offenses merit it.
Since I've been 'away,' a bill has been put forward in California to outlaw spanking. The idea behind the bill is nice - curb child abuse by making it illegal to ever hit a child. And for the sake of our children, perhaps child abuse laws should be re-evaluated and social workers be given a little more resources to do their jobs. However, banning corporal punishment isn't the answer.
My position on spanking... as a last resort, when other means of correction have been exhausted, a child who is able to discern right from wrong in a given situation may need something as harsh as a spanking to teach and correct behavior. I'm well aware that the American Academy of Pediatrics and virtually every psychologist on the planet advise against it. But let's face it, as parents we have to teach our children right from wrong. We have to teach them to avoid things that are harmful to themselves or others. Never in a million years would I have thought I'd ever need to spank the Bean. But I was wrong. I've only officially spanked her once. But she has gotten a mild pop on the well-diapered rear twice. And it killed me to do it! I've been told by moms with older kids that the key to avoiding spanking is being creative with discipline. Perhaps I'm not creative enough. Please, share your creative discipline tips with me. For the sake of wisdom and for my kids' wellbeing.
If you are going to spank, I think the following is pretty well accepted as guidelines: Don't spank out of anger or emotion. Examine the child's motives for their behavior. Examine your own role in your child's behavior (if your kid is hungry and you skipped naps today, you can't expect him to be an angel). Use loving words and assure your unconditional love for the child before and after spanking. Be more liberal with hugs and cuddles than you are with spanking. Vary your discipline techniques - there's more to discipline than time outs and spanking.
Let's go back to that bill in California. What would happen if the bill was passed? Potentially, neighbors, store clerks, etc. would start reporting well-meaning parents for any possible infringement of the law, adding enormous work loads for already overworked social workers and police officers. Spanking, already a taboo topic among all but very close friends, would become even more taboo, leaving many parents without the much needed counsel and wisdom of friends. Would that really help the situation? Honestly, the parents who fret and worry about whether or not it's okay to spank are worlds different than the parents who abuse their children without batting an eye. Changing the law will not hinder them in the least. It would only deepen the stigma we feel when our children's behavior is dangerous enough to necessitate some sort of discipline that will get their attention.
Here's a link to a news story about the bill, and one to NPR's radio coverage of it. All Things Considered had commentary from a woman who was a meditative Eastern Orthodox Christian, saying that though she has spanked her son once and won't apologize for it, she is inherently against spanking. She claimed that anyone who believes in seeking God should be focused on the inner life - the life of the spirit - and that spanking is the opposite of this and teaches our kids the opposite. While I won't call her a meditative fruitcake, I do think her theology is a bit skewed. God isn't concerned only with the spiritual side of life - He's very much involved with, sovereign over, and concerned about our physical lives. He deeply loves our children, perhaps more than we as parents do. And just as He chastens His followers and requires us to feel the consequences of our actions, He expects us as parents to do the same for our children. The Bible actually says "Don't fail to correct your children. They won't die if you spank them. Physical discipline may well save them from death." (Proverbs 23: 13-14, NLT) The rod mentioned throughout Proverbs is the same as the one mentioned in the oft-quoted Psalm 23 "Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death ... Your rod and your staff, they comfort me..." The idea behind it is that we are comforted by knowing that God is just and He is in control. His rod is a symbol of authority, and knowing that the authority you're under is consistent, just, and loving is incredibly freeing and comforting. And so it is for our children. We must discipline, and that discipline must be fitting and appropriate to both the situation and the child.
Again, I'll restate my plea from above. Moms and dads, share some ideas of creative discipline you use. Anything goes, as long as it doesn't involve inflicting physical pain. Tell me what you do, and what offenses merit it.
Saturday, December 30, 2006
Almost new year!!!
Tomorrow is New Year's Eve, and I think I'll be a bit of a dud this year. Bad cold, feverish, sleeping all day... I don't think i'll be able to muster the strength to stay up all night. Hope my dear hubby doesn't mind. (Sorry, babe, just can't do it this year...)
So that leads us to New Years revolutions. No, resolutions. Sorry - really tired right now. So I think the first is to know the Bible better, and that means taking the time to read it more. Time is a precious commodity in my life, so prioritizing Bible reading will be a tough one, but that's why I put it first. Also, I want to make a list of family rules. My friend Kristin has these posted on her fridge for her family, and with 4 nearly teenage boys, they actually come in really handy for her. They're things like Respect each other and each other's property, Be quick to forgive, etc. They're all backed up with scripture, and they define the tone of the family. I like that. My kids are a bit too young to understand that right now, but that's when it's best to start - the earlier the better, right?
Resolution #3 is a bit more me-focused. Exercise more. That's an open-ended one on purpose. I know that if I decide to walk for 30 minutes three times a week, the first time I fail I'll give up completely. But this way, I can play ball with Sofia, run after Liam, or dance to the Doodlebops - and it all counts! I've already signed up f0r a *free* Dancercize class with my health insurance company (I love Kaiser!).
Resolution #4 is to start my own company (and make a profit in 2007). I'm well on my way to being the mompreneur I've been dreaming of! The business plan is drafted, the P&L statement is done, 12 month sales prospective is done... I just need to take it to the SBA for advice and then to a bank to get my loan! (I'd tell you what I'm doing, but I'm afraid you'll steal my idea... Stay tuned. This is a good one!)
And to end, here's a couple pictures of my little ones.
Little man Liam is desperate to walk!
And Sofi has entered a new age: doing everything by herself, being adventurous outside, and suddenly affectionate towards her brother! (She's no longer afraid!!!!!)
So that leads us to New Years revolutions. No, resolutions. Sorry - really tired right now. So I think the first is to know the Bible better, and that means taking the time to read it more. Time is a precious commodity in my life, so prioritizing Bible reading will be a tough one, but that's why I put it first. Also, I want to make a list of family rules. My friend Kristin has these posted on her fridge for her family, and with 4 nearly teenage boys, they actually come in really handy for her. They're things like Respect each other and each other's property, Be quick to forgive, etc. They're all backed up with scripture, and they define the tone of the family. I like that. My kids are a bit too young to understand that right now, but that's when it's best to start - the earlier the better, right?
Resolution #3 is a bit more me-focused. Exercise more. That's an open-ended one on purpose. I know that if I decide to walk for 30 minutes three times a week, the first time I fail I'll give up completely. But this way, I can play ball with Sofia, run after Liam, or dance to the Doodlebops - and it all counts! I've already signed up f0r a *free* Dancercize class with my health insurance company (I love Kaiser!).
Resolution #4 is to start my own company (and make a profit in 2007). I'm well on my way to being the mompreneur I've been dreaming of! The business plan is drafted, the P&L statement is done, 12 month sales prospective is done... I just need to take it to the SBA for advice and then to a bank to get my loan! (I'd tell you what I'm doing, but I'm afraid you'll steal my idea... Stay tuned. This is a good one!)
And to end, here's a couple pictures of my little ones.
Little man Liam is desperate to walk!
And Sofi has entered a new age: doing everything by herself, being adventurous outside, and suddenly affectionate towards her brother! (She's no longer afraid!!!!!)Friday, November 17, 2006
Thailand...
Tickets are bought. I'm headed to Thailand this January, and couldn't be farther from my comfort zone! I'll be there for 10 days, working with NightLight. I'm going with a small team from Perimeter, and there are so many reasons for me to be hesitant! The first, and most important (to me, that is), is that I'll be leaving my kids behind for 10 whole days! I've never left them for a night! Even when I was in labor with Liam, I made sure Eugene stayed home with Sofia until she fell asleep... Then there are the issues about culture shock - I've never been to Asia. In fact, I've never been anywhere except N. America and Europe. It's going to be so very incredibly different. I'm not sure I'm ready for that. And, I'll be visiting the red-light district of Bangkok. That is something I'm definitely not prepared for. I need to find a way to get over my indignation and anger (regardless of how righteous my indignation will be - it won't get anything done) about the way these women are treated and dig deep to focus on compassion for them. As if that isn't enough to consider, I'll also be ministering to women who have been trafficked from Eastern Europe, specifically Russian speakers. My Russian is so rusty, it's almost non-existent. I have a lot of studying to do! Pray that God would bring back my Russian proficiency miraculously fast!
The big news of the day, though, is that you can now (finally) buy NightLight jewelry online (click here)! Use your consumer dollars to rescue women from exploitation!
The big news of the day, though, is that you can now (finally) buy NightLight jewelry online (click here)! Use your consumer dollars to rescue women from exploitation!
Wednesday, October 11, 2006
Working *for* the Sabbath
It's true. Many Christians think that the commandment to observe the Sabbath and make it holy doesn't count anymore. In fact when pressed, you might find that they actually believe in the 9 commandments. Observing the Sabbath is inconvenient, counter-cultural, and can seem like a waste of time in our task-oriented society. Businesses like Chick Fil A, Hobby Lobby (and I'm sure there are others) are closed on Sundays, and they're not hurting for profits. But they're in the minority.
We've been looking at the Sabbath at Perimeter, both in Sunday's sermon and in our current discipleship track. I've been convicted. I don't think I've ever observed the Sabbath, at least not the way I should. Sure, there have been Sundays when I've sat around on my lazy tush - but that wasn't to make it holy, it was just to be lazy. So what does it mean to make it holy? Randy Pope talks about not just getting off the treadmil, but walking over the window and gazing out at God's glory, and resting in that. It's a time to reconnect with God and set it aside for Him. Often, there are too many things ocupying my mind on Sundays and too many tasks to be done for me to focus on Him. Someone brought up the idea of working six days not just to keep up with work, but actually working towards Sunday, so that the Sabbath can be made holy without distractions. (We won't get into debates here about what day of the week the Sabbath is...) I kind of like that idea. It means that when I'm scrubbing my floors or toilets I'm actually doing it to the glory of God so that it won't distract me on the Sabbath. It gives whole new meaning to the menial tasks I do every day.
Working six days for the Sabbath gives purpose and motivation. And it clears the Sabbath for a focus on God. Another point Randy brought up in his sermon is that when we do observe the Sabbath - even when on vacation or when other things try to get in the way - we actually influence the next generation to do the same. If every time we go on vacation we skip church on Sundays and just carry on like the Sabbath is just another day, then our kids will likely adopt a laissez faire attitude to church when they have the opportunity to make their own choices. But when we stand for something, and make sacrifices for it, it impacts our kids long term. So, with that said, i have some work to do for the Sabbath.
We've been looking at the Sabbath at Perimeter, both in Sunday's sermon and in our current discipleship track. I've been convicted. I don't think I've ever observed the Sabbath, at least not the way I should. Sure, there have been Sundays when I've sat around on my lazy tush - but that wasn't to make it holy, it was just to be lazy. So what does it mean to make it holy? Randy Pope talks about not just getting off the treadmil, but walking over the window and gazing out at God's glory, and resting in that. It's a time to reconnect with God and set it aside for Him. Often, there are too many things ocupying my mind on Sundays and too many tasks to be done for me to focus on Him. Someone brought up the idea of working six days not just to keep up with work, but actually working towards Sunday, so that the Sabbath can be made holy without distractions. (We won't get into debates here about what day of the week the Sabbath is...) I kind of like that idea. It means that when I'm scrubbing my floors or toilets I'm actually doing it to the glory of God so that it won't distract me on the Sabbath. It gives whole new meaning to the menial tasks I do every day.
Working six days for the Sabbath gives purpose and motivation. And it clears the Sabbath for a focus on God. Another point Randy brought up in his sermon is that when we do observe the Sabbath - even when on vacation or when other things try to get in the way - we actually influence the next generation to do the same. If every time we go on vacation we skip church on Sundays and just carry on like the Sabbath is just another day, then our kids will likely adopt a laissez faire attitude to church when they have the opportunity to make their own choices. But when we stand for something, and make sacrifices for it, it impacts our kids long term. So, with that said, i have some work to do for the Sabbath.
Tuesday, September 19, 2006
Discipline
There was a baptism at church on Sunday - infants, by sprinkling. I won't get into a debate on that, but suffice it to say that I love Perimeter in spite of it! Randy Pope, our pastor, gives a little primer on parenting every time he does a baptism. The gist of it is that as parents our responsibility is to give our children what they need, and what they need isn't always what they want. Specifically, he says, our children need discipline. Without using the actual words, Randy alluded to the necessity of spanking. Their most important need is love, but but if we truly love our children we'll discipline them well - lovingly but firmly.
I've never spanked my kids, but I'm not entirely opposed to it. I know plenty of parents whose 'dirty secret' is that they've spanked their kids before and still use the threat of it to keep their kids in line. I've never had to do it with mine - Liam's too young, and we've always been able to persuade Sofia with rewards ('reward' sounds better than 'bribe', right?) and time outs. I haven't ruled it out, but I'm thankful that I haven't been in a position yet where it was called for (I'm not saying 'appropriate' because the very term 'appropriate' when used in the same sentence with spanking is debatable). Proverbs 13:24 specifically refers to spanking. The OT --> NT theory that God is more lenient and doles out grace more abundantly in the NT doesn't work either. First of all, God doesn't change. The OT God is the same as the NT God. The only difference is that we're now made righteous by Jesus' work on the cross. But that doesn't mean God won't discipline us. Ephesians 6:4 promts fathers to rightly discipline their children. When we look at the character of God we see that He disciplines us, and expects us to do the same with those He's given us charge over. For the benefit of discipline, look at Hebrews 12:11. It's just like a grapevine. Let wild, it produces few grapes, and they're sour. But prune it well and the harvest will be richer and sweeter.
I don't know when spanking would be 'appropriate'. But I do know it has to be done in love. And, all kids are different. I've never had to spank Sofia, because when she finds that we're disappointed with something she's done, she's mortified. She's so sensitive, and the mere threat of upsetting her parents keeps her in line.
And, when you bring something like love languages into the equation, what does that do? For a child whose love language is touch (and it absolutely is not Sofia's, but we'll have to see about Liam), spanking or any type of physical punishment would be absolutely wrong - because it would be using the way they express or receive love against them. So perhaps different children necessitate different means of discipline and correction, based on their personalities and character. But we, like God, should be more concerned with our children's character development than their comfort level.
Sofia is starting to show us some attitude - when she doesn't get her way, she shoots me a look to kill. I think she probably got it from me, but let's pretend she didn't... And today when I picked her up from preschool, her teacher told me she was 'mad' - she didn't get to have a job today. There are several jobs that different kids get to do each day to help the teacher, and when they get a job they wear a special star. Sofia wanted to wear a star. So apparently all day long she was mad, even though she'll get to have a job (and thus, a star) on Thursday when she goes to school. So where is this new attitude coming from (please don't say me) and how do I curb it before it gets out of control?
I've never spanked my kids, but I'm not entirely opposed to it. I know plenty of parents whose 'dirty secret' is that they've spanked their kids before and still use the threat of it to keep their kids in line. I've never had to do it with mine - Liam's too young, and we've always been able to persuade Sofia with rewards ('reward' sounds better than 'bribe', right?) and time outs. I haven't ruled it out, but I'm thankful that I haven't been in a position yet where it was called for (I'm not saying 'appropriate' because the very term 'appropriate' when used in the same sentence with spanking is debatable). Proverbs 13:24 specifically refers to spanking. The OT --> NT theory that God is more lenient and doles out grace more abundantly in the NT doesn't work either. First of all, God doesn't change. The OT God is the same as the NT God. The only difference is that we're now made righteous by Jesus' work on the cross. But that doesn't mean God won't discipline us. Ephesians 6:4 promts fathers to rightly discipline their children. When we look at the character of God we see that He disciplines us, and expects us to do the same with those He's given us charge over. For the benefit of discipline, look at Hebrews 12:11. It's just like a grapevine. Let wild, it produces few grapes, and they're sour. But prune it well and the harvest will be richer and sweeter.
I don't know when spanking would be 'appropriate'. But I do know it has to be done in love. And, all kids are different. I've never had to spank Sofia, because when she finds that we're disappointed with something she's done, she's mortified. She's so sensitive, and the mere threat of upsetting her parents keeps her in line.
And, when you bring something like love languages into the equation, what does that do? For a child whose love language is touch (and it absolutely is not Sofia's, but we'll have to see about Liam), spanking or any type of physical punishment would be absolutely wrong - because it would be using the way they express or receive love against them. So perhaps different children necessitate different means of discipline and correction, based on their personalities and character. But we, like God, should be more concerned with our children's character development than their comfort level.
Sofia is starting to show us some attitude - when she doesn't get her way, she shoots me a look to kill. I think she probably got it from me, but let's pretend she didn't... And today when I picked her up from preschool, her teacher told me she was 'mad' - she didn't get to have a job today. There are several jobs that different kids get to do each day to help the teacher, and when they get a job they wear a special star. Sofia wanted to wear a star. So apparently all day long she was mad, even though she'll get to have a job (and thus, a star) on Thursday when she goes to school. So where is this new attitude coming from (please don't say me) and how do I curb it before it gets out of control?
Wednesday, September 13, 2006
New concept...
A good friend and mentor, Kristin, told me the other day that Eisenhower's mother taught her children that each child in the family is essential to the family's existence, to the point that if the child were not a part of the family, the family unit would fall apart. I see this in two ways, really. On one hand, it gives the kids a very strong sense that they matter, that they're important, and that their every contribution is crucial. And that's a very good thing. On the other hand, what kind of pressure does that put on them, and what kind of expectations? Don't get me wrong, expectations are a good thing. And perhaps, when balanced with constant reassurance of unconditional love that pressure might be okay too. I just have this sense that telling my kids that the family wouldn't exist without them gives them constant pressure not to let the family down. So maybe the concept is good, but the wording should be altered. Maybe that means I should tell my kids how important they are to me, and how vital their contribution to the family is. And besides, I truly think that my family's well being depends more on God and our individual relationships with God than on any individual.
On a different note, I put a note in Sofi's lunch box every day. Tuesday I wrote "You're a star." When I picked her up from preschool and asked her what she ate for lunch, she rattled off an orange, cheese, turkey, and crackers, and "Mama says I'm a star!" It really does matter to her! And just this morning I was playing with her on the couch, and had to run to the next room. I reassured her that I'd be right back because... "you're so much..." (pause as I choke back sneeze) and she finished my sentence with "FUN!" Do you know what that means? It means that I tell her enough how much I appreciate spending time with her - enough that she knows it and can say it back to me! It warmed my heart!
On a different note, I put a note in Sofi's lunch box every day. Tuesday I wrote "You're a star." When I picked her up from preschool and asked her what she ate for lunch, she rattled off an orange, cheese, turkey, and crackers, and "Mama says I'm a star!" It really does matter to her! And just this morning I was playing with her on the couch, and had to run to the next room. I reassured her that I'd be right back because... "you're so much..." (pause as I choke back sneeze) and she finished my sentence with "FUN!" Do you know what that means? It means that I tell her enough how much I appreciate spending time with her - enough that she knows it and can say it back to me! It warmed my heart!
Wednesday, September 06, 2006
Kids first? I don't think so...
If my world (and by that I mean my thoughts, my identity, my actions, and the way I spend my time) revolve around my kids, it tells them that the world revolves around them. Besides that, it puts unrealistic pressure on them - if my world revolves around them then my sense of success and fulfillment revolves around their character development, their decisions, and how they choose to behave and spend their time. That's more pressure than any child should have.
Security comes (in part) from knowing that the people who raised you support you, support your choices, and moreover, are secure in their own identity. Parents place undue pressure on their kids when they depend on their kids for their meaning in life, sense of fulfillment and purpose.
Prioritizing in the art of making primary what should be primary, and allowing other things to fall rightly into place behind that. For me, what's primary is God. He created me, rescued me from self-destruction and sin, and regardless of what rotten thoughts I have, or how depraved I am, He still loves me according to his abundant grace. He is the only one who will never disappoint me, and will always love me with no reservations. Next is my husband. And I know that seems awfully counter-cultural and scandalous to put him before my kids, but I truly think that's the way it should be. He was my family before my kids ever were, and he is essential to my kids' emotional and developmental well-being. And that places my kids third in line. That doesn't mean I love them any less, it just means that my choices in life need to be prioritized correctly and I can never put my kids before my relationship with my husband.
Finally, coming in behind my family is my career, or future career, or extra-familial impact on the world around me, in whatever form that may be. And that career or whatever it is and becomes, should serve those things that stand higher on my list of priorities. That means, it should somehow serve the Kingdom of God and tangibly exhibit God's love for the world. It should also allow ample space for my family to grow and thrive.
As I think about the many forms that may take, and the life goals I have for myself, what I keep coming back to is rehabilitation for victims of the sex trade in Eastern Europe, and assisting in the effort to stop that trade. Unfortunately, I don't see how my current set of skills and expertise fit into that. So there lies the quandary. All the sincerity and good intentions in the world won't make a bit of difference.
I do want to be able to look back at my life when I'm 95 (optimistic, I know, but Eugene will outlive me), and see that I truly made a difference in the world. Of course I'll make a difference in my children's lives, and that alone is sufficient, but how else can I leave my footprint on the world? I'd like to look back and see that I affected long term change. I'd also like to know that God used me to do His will, and that other people's lives and eternal lives were impacted. We'll see how that plays out. But in the meantime, I still have to figure out what to do with today.
Security comes (in part) from knowing that the people who raised you support you, support your choices, and moreover, are secure in their own identity. Parents place undue pressure on their kids when they depend on their kids for their meaning in life, sense of fulfillment and purpose.
Prioritizing in the art of making primary what should be primary, and allowing other things to fall rightly into place behind that. For me, what's primary is God. He created me, rescued me from self-destruction and sin, and regardless of what rotten thoughts I have, or how depraved I am, He still loves me according to his abundant grace. He is the only one who will never disappoint me, and will always love me with no reservations. Next is my husband. And I know that seems awfully counter-cultural and scandalous to put him before my kids, but I truly think that's the way it should be. He was my family before my kids ever were, and he is essential to my kids' emotional and developmental well-being. And that places my kids third in line. That doesn't mean I love them any less, it just means that my choices in life need to be prioritized correctly and I can never put my kids before my relationship with my husband.
Finally, coming in behind my family is my career, or future career, or extra-familial impact on the world around me, in whatever form that may be. And that career or whatever it is and becomes, should serve those things that stand higher on my list of priorities. That means, it should somehow serve the Kingdom of God and tangibly exhibit God's love for the world. It should also allow ample space for my family to grow and thrive.
As I think about the many forms that may take, and the life goals I have for myself, what I keep coming back to is rehabilitation for victims of the sex trade in Eastern Europe, and assisting in the effort to stop that trade. Unfortunately, I don't see how my current set of skills and expertise fit into that. So there lies the quandary. All the sincerity and good intentions in the world won't make a bit of difference.
I do want to be able to look back at my life when I'm 95 (optimistic, I know, but Eugene will outlive me), and see that I truly made a difference in the world. Of course I'll make a difference in my children's lives, and that alone is sufficient, but how else can I leave my footprint on the world? I'd like to look back and see that I affected long term change. I'd also like to know that God used me to do His will, and that other people's lives and eternal lives were impacted. We'll see how that plays out. But in the meantime, I still have to figure out what to do with today.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)