Now, moving on... I'm a big girl and I have no need for grudges. Anyhow, Liam had his first hair cut - isn't he cute?! At least now people won't laugh at him so much.Wednesday, September 27, 2006
Dilemma
I have a terrible dilemma. I've been slighted by someone in a position of power above someone I care deeply about. I want to act like a toddler, beat my fists against a wall, and ensure this person knows how angry I am. But that would be immature, and counter-productive. The better idea would be to take on a southern-belle-etiquette-slash- sarcastic-with-a-smile attitude (think Emily Gilmore from the gilmore girls). Unfortunately, that's never been my style. And if I try it, will I fall flat on my face? Maybe I should just get over it and move on. I suppose that would be the mature thing to do. But can't I accidentally slip laxatives into his gin or something? And then throw a toddler-style fit.
Now, moving on... I'm a big girl and I have no need for grudges. Anyhow, Liam had his first hair cut - isn't he cute?! At least now people won't laugh at him so much.
Now, moving on... I'm a big girl and I have no need for grudges. Anyhow, Liam had his first hair cut - isn't he cute?! At least now people won't laugh at him so much.
Hydrocephalus
Wow it's been a while since I've posted! Last week we were faced with a CAT scan for Liam - only 9 months old! - to rule out hydrocephalus and brain tumors. Iti inchipui? So, the first part of the week was awful - I went through a million scenarios in my mind. I worried and worried about the CAT scan. All the information I had said that Liam would have to be aenesthetized. He had just given blood and that was hard enough. I didn't want to watch the nurse insert an IV and then have to watch his little eyes slowly close as he went under.
Well, perfect baby that he is, the nurse tried to do the scan without aenesthesia, and he stayed perfectly still! Again, iti inchipui? (Can you imagine? - romanian) I stood outside the room and prayed like mad, and he layed perfectly still while they did the scan. No need to medicate that kid! And, hours later, I called the doctor for the results, and they confirmed that Liam has a big, healthy head.
While all this was going on, I learned more about hydrocephalus. As it turns out, congenital hydrocephalus is usually because of a problem that occurs in utero. They try to catch it by the time the baby is 4-9 months, and with the use of a shunt and when caught early, most babies grow up to live relatively normal lives with very little long term brain damage. It is very treatable and manageable.
I also thought a lot about how I would explain it to Sofia if Liam did indeed need treatment. I finally decided, and this was a difficult topic to think about, that I would teach her that all things are created by God - she is, Liam is, the trees and butterflies, popsickles, and Larry the cucumber... But even hydrocephalus is created by God. Contrary to what most people would tell you, it isn't a disease or a birth defect, because God didn't make a mistake. And, in God's eyes, hydrocephalus is a blessing. We may never understand how, but God's ways are not our ways and his thoughts are not our thoughts. But if we truly believe that He created all things out of a void, than we must believe that even illnesses, tumors, and what we would call birth defects are all created by an all-loving, sovereign God who doesn't make mistakes. And the things that we see as ailments or 'thorns' in our side as Paul said, very well may be designed by God to bless us. The hard thing about that is that when you're going through it, I don't know how you'd look at the struggles, losses, and pain as blessing. But I have to believe (and maybe it's easier for me because I haven't been there) that even things that may seem like curses are actually blessings.
By the time we had the scan, I was at peace with the situation, and had decided that if God had designed Liam with hydrocephalus, we would cope with and use his weakness to bind the family together and grow together. I praise God that he's healthy though, and I can only hope that a hydrocephalus scare is the biggest issue we have to deal with for a long time.
Well, perfect baby that he is, the nurse tried to do the scan without aenesthesia, and he stayed perfectly still! Again, iti inchipui? (Can you imagine? - romanian) I stood outside the room and prayed like mad, and he layed perfectly still while they did the scan. No need to medicate that kid! And, hours later, I called the doctor for the results, and they confirmed that Liam has a big, healthy head.
While all this was going on, I learned more about hydrocephalus. As it turns out, congenital hydrocephalus is usually because of a problem that occurs in utero. They try to catch it by the time the baby is 4-9 months, and with the use of a shunt and when caught early, most babies grow up to live relatively normal lives with very little long term brain damage. It is very treatable and manageable.
I also thought a lot about how I would explain it to Sofia if Liam did indeed need treatment. I finally decided, and this was a difficult topic to think about, that I would teach her that all things are created by God - she is, Liam is, the trees and butterflies, popsickles, and Larry the cucumber... But even hydrocephalus is created by God. Contrary to what most people would tell you, it isn't a disease or a birth defect, because God didn't make a mistake. And, in God's eyes, hydrocephalus is a blessing. We may never understand how, but God's ways are not our ways and his thoughts are not our thoughts. But if we truly believe that He created all things out of a void, than we must believe that even illnesses, tumors, and what we would call birth defects are all created by an all-loving, sovereign God who doesn't make mistakes. And the things that we see as ailments or 'thorns' in our side as Paul said, very well may be designed by God to bless us. The hard thing about that is that when you're going through it, I don't know how you'd look at the struggles, losses, and pain as blessing. But I have to believe (and maybe it's easier for me because I haven't been there) that even things that may seem like curses are actually blessings.
By the time we had the scan, I was at peace with the situation, and had decided that if God had designed Liam with hydrocephalus, we would cope with and use his weakness to bind the family together and grow together. I praise God that he's healthy though, and I can only hope that a hydrocephalus scare is the biggest issue we have to deal with for a long time.
Tuesday, September 19, 2006
Discipline
There was a baptism at church on Sunday - infants, by sprinkling. I won't get into a debate on that, but suffice it to say that I love Perimeter in spite of it! Randy Pope, our pastor, gives a little primer on parenting every time he does a baptism. The gist of it is that as parents our responsibility is to give our children what they need, and what they need isn't always what they want. Specifically, he says, our children need discipline. Without using the actual words, Randy alluded to the necessity of spanking. Their most important need is love, but but if we truly love our children we'll discipline them well - lovingly but firmly.
I've never spanked my kids, but I'm not entirely opposed to it. I know plenty of parents whose 'dirty secret' is that they've spanked their kids before and still use the threat of it to keep their kids in line. I've never had to do it with mine - Liam's too young, and we've always been able to persuade Sofia with rewards ('reward' sounds better than 'bribe', right?) and time outs. I haven't ruled it out, but I'm thankful that I haven't been in a position yet where it was called for (I'm not saying 'appropriate' because the very term 'appropriate' when used in the same sentence with spanking is debatable). Proverbs 13:24 specifically refers to spanking. The OT --> NT theory that God is more lenient and doles out grace more abundantly in the NT doesn't work either. First of all, God doesn't change. The OT God is the same as the NT God. The only difference is that we're now made righteous by Jesus' work on the cross. But that doesn't mean God won't discipline us. Ephesians 6:4 promts fathers to rightly discipline their children. When we look at the character of God we see that He disciplines us, and expects us to do the same with those He's given us charge over. For the benefit of discipline, look at Hebrews 12:11. It's just like a grapevine. Let wild, it produces few grapes, and they're sour. But prune it well and the harvest will be richer and sweeter.
I don't know when spanking would be 'appropriate'. But I do know it has to be done in love. And, all kids are different. I've never had to spank Sofia, because when she finds that we're disappointed with something she's done, she's mortified. She's so sensitive, and the mere threat of upsetting her parents keeps her in line.
And, when you bring something like love languages into the equation, what does that do? For a child whose love language is touch (and it absolutely is not Sofia's, but we'll have to see about Liam), spanking or any type of physical punishment would be absolutely wrong - because it would be using the way they express or receive love against them. So perhaps different children necessitate different means of discipline and correction, based on their personalities and character. But we, like God, should be more concerned with our children's character development than their comfort level.
Sofia is starting to show us some attitude - when she doesn't get her way, she shoots me a look to kill. I think she probably got it from me, but let's pretend she didn't... And today when I picked her up from preschool, her teacher told me she was 'mad' - she didn't get to have a job today. There are several jobs that different kids get to do each day to help the teacher, and when they get a job they wear a special star. Sofia wanted to wear a star. So apparently all day long she was mad, even though she'll get to have a job (and thus, a star) on Thursday when she goes to school. So where is this new attitude coming from (please don't say me) and how do I curb it before it gets out of control?
I've never spanked my kids, but I'm not entirely opposed to it. I know plenty of parents whose 'dirty secret' is that they've spanked their kids before and still use the threat of it to keep their kids in line. I've never had to do it with mine - Liam's too young, and we've always been able to persuade Sofia with rewards ('reward' sounds better than 'bribe', right?) and time outs. I haven't ruled it out, but I'm thankful that I haven't been in a position yet where it was called for (I'm not saying 'appropriate' because the very term 'appropriate' when used in the same sentence with spanking is debatable). Proverbs 13:24 specifically refers to spanking. The OT --> NT theory that God is more lenient and doles out grace more abundantly in the NT doesn't work either. First of all, God doesn't change. The OT God is the same as the NT God. The only difference is that we're now made righteous by Jesus' work on the cross. But that doesn't mean God won't discipline us. Ephesians 6:4 promts fathers to rightly discipline their children. When we look at the character of God we see that He disciplines us, and expects us to do the same with those He's given us charge over. For the benefit of discipline, look at Hebrews 12:11. It's just like a grapevine. Let wild, it produces few grapes, and they're sour. But prune it well and the harvest will be richer and sweeter.
I don't know when spanking would be 'appropriate'. But I do know it has to be done in love. And, all kids are different. I've never had to spank Sofia, because when she finds that we're disappointed with something she's done, she's mortified. She's so sensitive, and the mere threat of upsetting her parents keeps her in line.
And, when you bring something like love languages into the equation, what does that do? For a child whose love language is touch (and it absolutely is not Sofia's, but we'll have to see about Liam), spanking or any type of physical punishment would be absolutely wrong - because it would be using the way they express or receive love against them. So perhaps different children necessitate different means of discipline and correction, based on their personalities and character. But we, like God, should be more concerned with our children's character development than their comfort level.
Sofia is starting to show us some attitude - when she doesn't get her way, she shoots me a look to kill. I think she probably got it from me, but let's pretend she didn't... And today when I picked her up from preschool, her teacher told me she was 'mad' - she didn't get to have a job today. There are several jobs that different kids get to do each day to help the teacher, and when they get a job they wear a special star. Sofia wanted to wear a star. So apparently all day long she was mad, even though she'll get to have a job (and thus, a star) on Thursday when she goes to school. So where is this new attitude coming from (please don't say me) and how do I curb it before it gets out of control?
Monday, September 18, 2006
Mom Corps
I just found the coolest thing online - it's called Mom Corps and it's a matchmaking service between former full-time professionals who have become stay at home moms and employers looking for non-traditional employees. Check it out here. I'd still love to come up with a great idea and become a mompreneur, but in the meantime, while I'm brainstorming for greatness and coming up with funds to finance my upcoming brilliant idea, maybe I could find non-traditional work in my field. Do you think I have too much going on? (I ask this as Sofia is watching TV - but I least I made her a healthy breakfast this morning and we already took a walk! And when Liam wakes up we'll all be off to the park.)
Of course, the real impact of this website (Mom Corps, that is) is that it circumvents the brain drain of qualified women from the work force. The current trend is that top colleges have a gender imbalance - there are more women seeking higher degrees than men. But, several years after graduation, a huge number of those women leave the work force to raise families. Women are not taking on upper level positions in major corporations because they're choosing families over careers. People like Linda Hirshman say this is because the feminist movement stopped short of its goal. The feminist movement made significant headway in the professional world, but never transformed family life and gender roles. While Mom Coprs doesn't really address that side of it, it does offer an alternative to the current gender imbalance in the workplace. Is it possible that women really can have it all (with the added plus of mopping floors, cooking meals, and being interior decorators to say the least...)?
Of course, the real impact of this website (Mom Corps, that is) is that it circumvents the brain drain of qualified women from the work force. The current trend is that top colleges have a gender imbalance - there are more women seeking higher degrees than men. But, several years after graduation, a huge number of those women leave the work force to raise families. Women are not taking on upper level positions in major corporations because they're choosing families over careers. People like Linda Hirshman say this is because the feminist movement stopped short of its goal. The feminist movement made significant headway in the professional world, but never transformed family life and gender roles. While Mom Coprs doesn't really address that side of it, it does offer an alternative to the current gender imbalance in the workplace. Is it possible that women really can have it all (with the added plus of mopping floors, cooking meals, and being interior decorators to say the least...)?
Sunday, September 17, 2006
I'm so proud!
For those of you who don't know, my brother, Capt. Robert Stanton is in Afghanistan with the 10th Mountain Division (as is his wife, helicopter pilot Capt. Casey Martinez). Over the past week, Rob has had his picture and voice broadcast across America. He's been on ABC world news, Nightline, had his picture on AP newswire, and been quoted all over the place, even with one interview available in audio online! It's been awesome to see and hear him so much when he's so far away! He's done really well with his interviews - so well that Eugene thinks he should go into politics ( and I do too!). So, in another couple of years, when Robert Stanton is running for election for some local post, get out and vote for him! (Yes, I realize it's silly to campaign for someone who isn't running, but the time will come...)
GIs hunt al-Qaida in Afghan mountains
Restraint even facing death
Small fight to build an Army
GIs hunt al-Qaida in Afghan mountains
Restraint even facing death
Small fight to build an Army
Friday, September 15, 2006
Preschool rocks!
So, 2 weeks in, and I'm loving it! The bonus - Sofia loves it too! I just became room mom - the egoist in me wants to think that it's because I'm the greatest mom (you know, I make the best lunches, dress my child the most appropriately, and have raised my child better than everyone else). Of course, the real reason I'm room mom is I was the only idiot who signed up. No, I take that back. One other mom signed up. Then she found out what was involved and backed out. So it's just me.
Anyhow, the point of this is that preschool is the best thing that could have happened to Sofia. (Footnote... If you haven't been following, Sofia started preschool - mothers' morning out, really - a couple weeks ago and she goes for two half days a week.) She picked up a cold there, but that's a small price to pay. And besides, the more colds she gets now, the stronger her immune system will be later, right? She doesn't cry when I take her to preschool or Sunday school anymore! She's more confident, she's more independent, she's more social, and she's not afraid of so many things anymore! It's fabulous. Yesterday she had to stay home because she was sick, but she was really heartbroken that she couldn't go! All morning, she found different ways (and reasons) to ask if we could go. In fact, when Liam woke up after Sofia and I ate lunch, she said that now that Liam was awake, we could go to preschool! I love her logic! What a great kid!
And, now that Sofia's in preschool, I can get things done a couple days a week! So, I'm hoping to get in a meeting with the Business Partners International next week to talk about a possible ministry opportunity in Thailand! If Sofia weren't in preschool a couple days a week, I doubt I'd be able to even think about things like that! I'm still hoping that I'll be able to start up some type of mompreneur-ish type of thing (how wonderfully specific I can be!) Do I really want to commit myself to something again that very well may fail? Am I crazy to think I can take on a whole new business? Probably. But crazy is okay, right? even fun, in small doses at least. We'll just have to see. I think I'll wait on Liam's CT scan before I make any plans.
Anyhow, the point of this is that preschool is the best thing that could have happened to Sofia. (Footnote... If you haven't been following, Sofia started preschool - mothers' morning out, really - a couple weeks ago and she goes for two half days a week.) She picked up a cold there, but that's a small price to pay. And besides, the more colds she gets now, the stronger her immune system will be later, right? She doesn't cry when I take her to preschool or Sunday school anymore! She's more confident, she's more independent, she's more social, and she's not afraid of so many things anymore! It's fabulous. Yesterday she had to stay home because she was sick, but she was really heartbroken that she couldn't go! All morning, she found different ways (and reasons) to ask if we could go. In fact, when Liam woke up after Sofia and I ate lunch, she said that now that Liam was awake, we could go to preschool! I love her logic! What a great kid!
And, now that Sofia's in preschool, I can get things done a couple days a week! So, I'm hoping to get in a meeting with the Business Partners International next week to talk about a possible ministry opportunity in Thailand! If Sofia weren't in preschool a couple days a week, I doubt I'd be able to even think about things like that! I'm still hoping that I'll be able to start up some type of mompreneur-ish type of thing (how wonderfully specific I can be!) Do I really want to commit myself to something again that very well may fail? Am I crazy to think I can take on a whole new business? Probably. But crazy is okay, right? even fun, in small doses at least. We'll just have to see. I think I'll wait on Liam's CT scan before I make any plans.
Thursday, September 14, 2006
Plans made. Somewhat.
I think I've figured it out. Long term plans, that is. I've had this whole dilemma about what to be when I grow up. (See my very first post from August this year for more on that.) Long term vision: To end the traffic of women from Moldova into sex slavery. (Did you know that there are more slaves worldwide today than there were when slavery was abolished in the US?)
To do that, I think I need a law degree. It would give me the legitimacy in Moldova to work in that arena, and the international law expertise to work towards that goal. The problem all along was, how do I do it without sacrificing my family? The women and moms I respect most have careers - but they work from their homes, so they're always around for their kids, and by being their own bosses they can take off time when they need to.
So, here it is... I can go to law school part time over the next 5 years or so. Once I've graduated and past the bar, I work part time for an NGO. After I have enough experience (and as long as we're in the US), I set up office in my home and be my own boss, doing some sort of consulting or private practice. The key is that I have to be content with never becoming a high-powered corporate lawyer earning the big bucks. I'll get my kicks from the impact I have as an agent of change.
Short term, I don't know how to make that work. I still want to be a MOMpreneur and I don't want to wait until I can run my own home-based private practice to do that. So, is there some venture I can start in the meantime and work at while I do this? I have almost a full year before I'll enter law school (assuming my application is accepted). I'll have to think more on that. Maybe I can get something started, and have it running smoothly enough by fall next year that it won't be a drain on my time.
To do that, I think I need a law degree. It would give me the legitimacy in Moldova to work in that arena, and the international law expertise to work towards that goal. The problem all along was, how do I do it without sacrificing my family? The women and moms I respect most have careers - but they work from their homes, so they're always around for their kids, and by being their own bosses they can take off time when they need to.
So, here it is... I can go to law school part time over the next 5 years or so. Once I've graduated and past the bar, I work part time for an NGO. After I have enough experience (and as long as we're in the US), I set up office in my home and be my own boss, doing some sort of consulting or private practice. The key is that I have to be content with never becoming a high-powered corporate lawyer earning the big bucks. I'll get my kicks from the impact I have as an agent of change.
Short term, I don't know how to make that work. I still want to be a MOMpreneur and I don't want to wait until I can run my own home-based private practice to do that. So, is there some venture I can start in the meantime and work at while I do this? I have almost a full year before I'll enter law school (assuming my application is accepted). I'll have to think more on that. Maybe I can get something started, and have it running smoothly enough by fall next year that it won't be a drain on my time.
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