Today was Sofi's first day of preschool. I took her to her classroom promptly at 9:30, walked away, and then drove off with nary a tear. Does that make me a bad mom? I wasn't skipping through the parking lot or singing Joy to the World either, but how can I leave my baby girl with near strangers and walk away unaffected? Maybe I wasn't totally unaffected. I did spend the rest of the day snapping at people who cut me off on the road, sulking, and doing my absolute best to avoid conversation with anyone. But the preschool had this nice little room set up for parents to sit and enjoy coffee and doughnuts while their children acclimated to their classrooms. There were designated "checkers" to go to different classrooms and check on nervous parents' kids. All the parents provided moral support for each other, and there were boxes of tissues strategically placed around the room. And then there's me. I darted straight out of Sofi's classroom, skipped the hospitality suite, and headed directly for my car. I didn't greet the ever-friendly greeters. I didn't make small talk with the other parents. I didn't even snag a doughnut and cup of coffee to go. I didn't look back.
Of course, I had a good excuse. I was late for my discipleship group at church. I was providing snacks today and was already 20 minutes late. But shouldn't it have been harder to leave my first born child in someone else's hands?
She loved it, by the way. She was excited to see her classroom and her teacher when we were down the hall, but when we got to the door and I gently pushed her inside, the waterworks started, on her end at least. But she loved it, in the end. She wants to go back now. In fact, when she 'woke up' from her 'nap,' her request was to go back to preschool and then go to bed after that. So, here's hoping Thursday goes smoothly.