Friday, March 16, 2007

Parenting help needed!

Okay folks. Here's the dilemma. All the 'experts' agree that spanking is bad. A good number of parents say that spanking is sometimes the only way to stop a bad behavior or behavior pattern. I don't want to use this to debate the utility or ills of spanking - it's one of those polarizing issues that do little to foster a sense of mutual trust and encouragement.

But, I do want to ask all you parents of little ones out there (where "little ones" means toddlers and preschoolers) for creative discipline ideas. We're all aware of time-outs, but what do you do to creatively respond to bad behavior? For example, a friend of mine won't let her 3-yr old wear her favorite pajamas if said 3-yr old refuses to get ready for bed. I think that's creative! So what do you do? Please tell me specifics! How do you make the punishment fit the crime, so to speak?

5 comments:

owlhaven said...

One of the things that works pretty well for a variety of ages of children is extra work. of course if a child makes a mess, they can assist in cleaning it up.

I will also assign a job as a consequence. For example, I'll set a 3 year old down on the kitchen floor with a damp cloth and set the timer for three minutes, and have her scrub the floor till the time rings.

Or if a child is unkind to a sibling, they can do something noce for the sibling to make up for it....

I will also have a child take a 10 minute rest so they can get strong enough to obey...

You have to try different things to see what works for your child...

All the best

Mary, mom to many

Mella said...

This is a good question - I don't have much for advice yet, as my son is just entering the stage where tough-discipline comes into play. So far, time-out has been working for us, but I'm curious to see what the "pro's" have to say...

Megan said...

Well, not sure how creative this is, but when she isn't doing something I've asked her to do, I try to get up and show her exactly what I'm wanting her to do. So if she's climbing on the back of the couch and won't come off when I tell her to, I go pick her up, take her off the couch, put her on the floor and say, "We don't climb on the back of the couch." At the same time.

Granted, I don't always do this. I'm often guilty of barking commands and then not expecting quick follow through and then getting frustrated when they don't... I need to get better with this.

Kathy said...

Thanks ladies! These are great ideas!
Owlhaven, I really like the idea of having a child do something nice for their sibling for being unkind.
Mella, thanks for taking the time to comment - now stay tuned and let's see what ideas we can harvest!
Megan, I like the idea of being the example - that would definitely ensure that the child fully understands.
So, faithful readers (all 4 of you), share your wisdom!

Kathy said...

Oops! Forgot to mention - I think Owlhaven's idea of letting a child 'rest' for a few minutes to gain strength to obey would be really helpful with Bean! And I *never* would have thought of that on my own. Thanks!