Moving to Wordpress

**This is a sticky. It will stay at the top, please scroll down for newer posts. As of March 18, my only new posts to this blog will deal with our toxic mold situation. My regular blog continues at Wordpress.**

This blog was my induction into the blogosphere, and I'm very happy with what I accomplished here. But in the last several months I've learned that there are other blog publishers out there, each with its own pros and cons. Several months ago I found wordpress, and after experimenting with it a bit, I found that it fits my personality and needs better.

So today I say good-bye to Cozy Paradigms at Blogger, and I move to Mudlark Tales at Wordpress. I hope my faithful readership (all 4 of you) will follow me there - in the sense of reading my posts there - I don't expect you all (all 4 of you) to move your blogs there...

The end is in sight!

After **much** ado, there's a new company working on my house right now. (Hip hop background music, me doing a happy dance) The called yesterday and said they were ready to start, and since I'd already obtained copies of their business license and insurance certificate, I happily agreed.

They're at my house now. I'm not. You see, it's not recommended that anyone be home when mold remediators do their work. So I'm at my aunt's house. With my kids, and my hubby will soon join us. The remediation is expected to take only 2 days (only 2 days? I've waited this long for that?). But when they're done, we'll have the added expense of re-testing, putting down new flooring, rebuilding the drywall, and rebuilding the ceiling, though not in that order. We'll paint too, while we're at it.

All that to say, there is (finally) progress. It's just going to take a long, long time to finish.

It's getting Ridiculous!

The lizard in the playroom was a casualty of blue painter's tape. Or maybe, a casualty of toxic mold. We'll never know. He died though, while trying to escape my kids' playroom and return to the 'mold room.' While crossing to the 'other side' he got stuck in the painter's tape and died. Alternatively, he may have died the moment he poked his little head into 'the mold room' and the toxicity killed him. We'll never know. But my hubby is my hero for disposing of him.

We've now had the mold room closed off for nearly 6 weeks. We've gone through contractor 1, contractor 2 stopped returning my calls the moment I asked for a business license and proof of insurance. Tomorrow we have 3 (count them - three!) contractors coming throughout the day to look at the mold room and tell me what they think. Hopefully one of them will be able to produce documentation that they're actually a bona fide business. We'll see. Right now, I have little hope. I'm starting to believe that my home was meant to have a gaping hole in the ceiling, and this is all just a good way to get us closer to nature by inviting otherwise purely outdoor creatures to abide with us.

Sometimes you have to cut and run...

We confronted our mold remediation company - we'll call them company 1 - about the hack of job they did to our home. They apologized. They asked for a 3rd chance. We were willing to offer them a 3rd chance, at their promise to make everything right. But, we said, we had to consult another contractor first. At the mention of another contractor, all the blood drained from the guy's face at Company 1. "What!?" he said. "WHY would you want to do THAT???!!!" Precisely, kind sir, because of the reaction I just witnessed. What are you afraid that I'll learn? That you overcharged me? That you did shoddy work? That all your dealings have been riddled with fraud?

Expecting to hear only one of those things (I'm essentially a trusting optiminst), I was quite surprised when we found all of those things to be true. In fact, as I listened to Company 2 tell me of all the damage Company 1 caused, all their negligence, how ridiculously they had tried to pick my pocket, I felt an intense need to sit down. (Really, it was an intense need to sit down on a beach towel with the calming rush of waves lulling me gently to a place where none of this matters.) I think I need a Bahamavention. (Have you seen the commercials?)

Picking myself back up from a hard wooden chair that really has nothing in common with a beach towel, I made some phone calls. So now, we've hired Company 2. We've also hired a lawyer. We're about to start tense negotiations with Company 1. It's time to put on my game face.

And the boxing gloves come out

We've consulted an attorney. This toxic mold thing has gotten pretty bad. The company that was doing the remediation was unlicensed, uninsured, and they sent some hack to my house who further contaminated the rest of the house. They made the problem worse. It's been a battle. But I've learned things about myself. Things like...

• I negotiate better on the phone - it's easier when I don't have to look into the other person's eyes.
• My Romanian is good enough to understand someone's trying to pull the wool over my eyes.
• It's not good enough to argue well in my own defense.
  
• I have different personalities when I speak different languages. I think it has to do with level of confidence.
  
• I'm more assertive and more thorough when it directly involves my kids. I'll pull out the boxing gloves in their defense.
  
• My hubby and I do a good good-cop bad-cop role. He's the good cop. A nice, quiet good cop. I'm the bad cop. My (former) contractor avoids me because of it.
• I can research just about anything.
  
• My (former) contractor (just fired) thinks I know too much about toxic mold. I think I still have lots to learn.
• I really can trust my gut feeling. I should do it more often.
  

100 things about Kathy

Finally! 100 posts! In blogger tradition, here's my 100 things.

100 things about Kathy

1. The only things you’ll find me drinking are water and coffee.
2. And maybe a margarita or bloody mary on very rare (yet happy) occasions.
3. I love to knit.
4. But only with natural fibers – wool, cotton, soy, but no acrylic or other man-mades. Yeah, I’m a fiber nerd. And a fiber snob. Sorry. I’m dealing with my issues.
5. I love to crochet too, but I stink at it.
6. I find that I had a lot more time for things like that before kids.
7. I like to read too, but that’s become an endangered hobby since kids too.
8. I always thought I’d be a professional saxophonist.
9. In Harry Connick, Jr.’s band.
10. I met his dad once, and the band he grew up playing with.
11. They said I could jam with them. But that was the end of it. Sax was in Florida, band wasn’t.
12. I was never meant to be a professional saxophonist. That was a disappointment.
13. Nor was I meant to be a professional athlete. I pretended that was a disappointment.
14. I truly hope my kids never think they need to feign feelings for my sake.
15. My favorite room in the house is the nursery. It’s pastel yellow with an alphabet nursery rhyme border, and lots of windows.
16. I’d sit there and read all day – if I had all day to sit and read.
17. I might knit a bit too, with that kind of time.
18. I hate wearing shoes.
19. I don’t like socks either.
20. I also hate having sand between my toes.
21. But I’m willing to make the sacrifice for the sake of a leisurely day at the beach.
22. I’m a seminary drop-out.
23. During a time of intense Life Issues I doubted God.
24. Some people thought that meant I didn’t belong with the spiritual giants at seminary.
25. I’ve learned that it’s okay to doubt God.
26. I’ve also learned that He’s willing to wrestle with me, when I need to wrestle.
27. My first job was a grocery store cashier.
28. I never was good with money.
29. My next six to eight jobs after that also involved retail.
30. Most of my bosses learned not to put me behind a cash register.
31. I still can’t balance my checkbook. It’s a good thing my hubby rocks at that.
32. I was also a bar-tender. I make a killer bloody mary.
33. My hubby is the sole beneficiary of my bar-tending skills now.
34. I’ve been to 13 countries outside of the US.
35. Only 2 continents though.
36. I need to see more of the world.
37. My husband’s probably been to twice the number of countries I have.
38. I’ve been held at gunpoint in a foreign country.
39. I’ve been randomly kicked off a train in a foreign country – twice.
40. Natural disasters follow me when I travel.
41. Friends don’t let friends travel with me because of it!
42. I have a weak spot for books.
43. We could cover our walls with book shelves, and it still wouldn’t be enough.
44. I’m learning to simplify my life.
45. Less spending, less stuff. More time with people.
46. I want to get a law degree. But I don’t want to be a lawyer.
47. I also want a degree in speech & language pathology.
48. And to be certified as a lactation consultant.
49. I’d also like a Masters degree in Eastern European history.
50. I think someone should just give me that one.
51. I have an article on linguistic teaching methodology published in a book.
52. I wrote my baccalaureate thesis on the political implications of Shostakovich’s Fifth Symphony. You can read it if you’re ever having trouble sleeping. It’ll help.
53. I’m fluent in Romanian.
54. I used to be fluent in Russian, but no longer, for lack of use. I still read it though.
55. I think I’d get it back if I needed it.
56. I’d also like to learn Arabic, Georgian, Gagauz, and Hebrew. So many languages, so little time.
57. I can memorize complex linguistic structures, but not simple Bible verses.
58. Anyone want to explain why?
59. Numbers 37 & 58 aren’t really things about me – sorry. I’m also apologetic and filled with grace.
60. I’m quick to forgive when the person and the offense weren’t that important.
61. The closer the person is to me, and the more I care about them, the harder it is to forgive. That even goes for minor offenses.
62. God knew I needed a hubby who would be quick to forgive me though. And that’s who I have.
63. I have 2 beautiful children.
64. I’d like to have more, but I’m truly afraid my sanity would be a casualty of parenthood.
65. I’d really, really like to start my own business.
66. In fact, I was ready to start my own business. But hubby’s company asked him to relocate to another country.
67. So his company won. We’re moving to England in a few months, unless God intervenes.
68. But honestly, our move to England is probably God intervening, in an effort to separate me from my stuff. (stuff that I love)
69. It will also help with points 44 & 45.
70. I think once I get over the shock of it, I’ll be excited.
71. Of all the countries I’ve been to, I’ve only lived in one of them (outside the US).
72. And, I’ve never been to England, so that’ll make it 14 countries total. But still only 2 continents.
73. I’m trying to join one of my church’s ministry teams to Thailand, to work with women who have been trafficked into sex slavery.
74. But having two young kids at home makes it hard to run off to Asia for 10 days. Go figure.
75. I never learned to ride a bike. I’m serious. Stop laughing!
76. I can swim like a fish though.
77. Maybe if there were bikes for the water, then I’d be able to… Let’s not go there.
78. I drool over fabric.
79. But I can’t sew.
80. I have a sewing machine in my closet.
81. I paid $8 for it at Goodwill. It’s ancient.
82. I used to sell yarn and knitting supplies on Ebay.
83. I still have a floor-to-ceiling bookshelf in my laundry room stuffed with yarn that I need to sell.
84. And a huge storage container filled with yarn and half-finished knitting projects.
85. I’m not good at finishing my knitting. I like to start new projects.
86. I also like to start new books.
87. I might have a problem with follow-through.
88. I’m an INFP (but I was in INTJ before kids).
89. I multitask well with lots of things, but not cooking.
90. I like to be undisturbed when cooking.
91. Mostly because I’m afraid something I’m cooking will splatter hot something-or-other and hurt one of my kids. I’m paranoid like that.
92. I’m also a perfectionist. If I burn what I’m cooking, I find it nearly impossible to forgive myself. Even if the other people eating it don’t notice.
93. Measuring cups are for sissies. I don’t measure anything when I cook. I’m still a perfectionist though.
94. When my kids cry it makes me crazy. (I’m about to lose it right now – they’re protesting their naps.)
95. I’m not bothered by other people’s kids crying.
96. I’m a sinner saved by grace.
97. I like to argue with God. I think He likes it too – at least being real with Him then.
98. It’s taken me a long time to learn I don’t have to fake it with God. He can see straight through me.
99. I also like to argue dialogue with people who disagree with me about faith issues. Something about iron sharpening iron.
100. On my own I’m pretty darn incapable of anything much. But I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. Thank goodness I have Him to rely on!

Doing a bit o' good

Ladies and gents, I've tried not to stand on my soap box too much with the blog. I don't think it's the right media to push an agenda. But JourneyMama's post today inspired me to say a few words. There is so very much extreme poverty and injustice in the world. Every 3 seconds a child dies from the effects of extreme poverty - through malnutrition, starvation, unclean water supply, lack of access to medicine - that means that while you've read this sentence 3 children have died preventable deaths. Trafficking in human beings is now the 3rd largest money-making business in the world, behind arms and drug trafficking. That includes children being trafficked into sex slavery as well as women forced into prostitution.

One picture I'll never get out of my head is an elderly man in Kiev bending down to lick melted ice cream of the pavement. That's poverty. Of course, there are plenty of people in the world who would be jealous of a meal like that. If you think you're poor or struggling for resources, think again. Whoops! 5 more children just died from poverty-related causes.

So I ask you, what are you, personally, doing to contribute to the solution? You can be a part of the solution, or your complacency can be a part of the problem. Step up, take a stand. Get involved. My personal favorites are NightLight, Trade As One, International Justice Mission, World Relief, and World Vision. If none of that appeals to you, google Servants Anonymous, CARE, Food for the Hungry, and there are plenty of other organizations out there vying for support. Choose one. Choose more if you want. But don't just sit there sipping coffee behind your 17" DSL empowered screen. Do something. One person can have effect transformative change on the world.

Post a comment. Tell me what cause you've been supporting or plan to support. Let the blogosphere know. Your silence encourages complacency.

Parenting help needed!

Okay folks. Here's the dilemma. All the 'experts' agree that spanking is bad. A good number of parents say that spanking is sometimes the only way to stop a bad behavior or behavior pattern. I don't want to use this to debate the utility or ills of spanking - it's one of those polarizing issues that do little to foster a sense of mutual trust and encouragement.

But, I do want to ask all you parents of little ones out there (where "little ones" means toddlers and preschoolers) for creative discipline ideas. We're all aware of time-outs, but what do you do to creatively respond to bad behavior? For example, a friend of mine won't let her 3-yr old wear her favorite pajamas if said 3-yr old refuses to get ready for bed. I think that's creative! So what do you do? Please tell me specifics! How do you make the punishment fit the crime, so to speak?

Potty training: day 1

We're about 6 hours in, and so far accident-free with Bean. Until... sitting at lunch...
Bean: "Mama, does Little Man need a new diaper?"
Me: "No, Bean, do you?"
Bean: "Mama, Little Man's just wet. He's just wet."
Me: "Bean, are your p*anties wet? Did you tee-tee in your pants?"
Bean: "No silly mama! I tee-teed in my v*gina!"
Well thank you for setting me straight!
Back in diapers now, by her request.

Me so proud!

Here he is! My brother is being awarded with a very prestigious military award, and you can read about it here. It's the Douglas MacArthur leadership award. Rock on Rob! The article talks about why he was given the award - from his stellar leadership capabilities with his soldiers to "being at the tip of the bayonet" (I could go without hearing about that part) to earning the trust and respect of the local Afghans. Me so proud. Okay, I'm done gushing now.

There's a lizard...

... in my playroom. And not a cute little gecko either. He came in through the mold room. Apparently the "airlock" in the room doesn't really keep lizards (or ants, we found yesterday) 'locked' in the room. I suppose if lizards can get through, so can air (and the mold spores)... So, who wants to come over for dinner? Lions and tigers and mold, oh my! (and lizards and spiders and ants too!) Now doesn't that sound pleasant?

And the kicker, we found out today that they aren't insured either! So, the moral of the story at this point, when you hire a contractor, make darn sure you have your own copy of their business license and proof of insurance!

Today's agenda

Things already completed:

• Meals planned for the next 9 days
• Grocery shopping done, groceries put away
• Birthday gifts purchased for 4 people (you wouldn't believe the deals I got!)
• One load of laundry (not folded though)
  

Things still to be done (in order of priority):

• Cook dinner
• Clean out fridge and pantry (tomorrow is trash day)
• Sweep floors
  
• Vacuum downstairs
• Mop swept floors
• Fold laundry
  
• Clean out seldom used toys from playroom and either trash or donate

I should be able to do (most of) that today... If the kids continue to nap. I'll update you later.

**Anyone have any brilliant ideas for a St. Patty's day craft?**

Updated Thursday morning: I did the first 4 on the list, but then Bean's fever spiked and I had to rush her to the ER. We're back home now, the fever is down, and all her tests came back with good news. So, she has a virus, but it was so nice to come home to a (mostly) clean home!

Self image and daughters

I was at the doctors office last week (many times in fact) and there was a woman there with her 8 year old daughter. There's a big full-length mirror at the doctors office that my toddlers love - they make faces at it, wave to themselves, do all sorts of silliness in front of it. But then this 8 year old stood in front of the mirror, gazed at herself, and called her mother over to stand in front of the mirror.

Mom came up and looked at herself from different angles. And constantly as she looked at herself, she talked about her imperfections - "honey, look how big my butt looks!", "look here, honey, I almost look pregnant with this big belly!," "oh my gosh! I had no idea my roots were showing like this! Why didn't you tell me, honey?!" All this to an 8 year old. I think it's a natural stage for girls (and probably boys too) to judge themselves, and specifically their bodies. Is it really necessary to show them how to criticize their bodies? And if mom is doing it openly, she's showing her little girl that this is the right way to view yourself.

In fact, after mom sat down, the girl took up her mom's example and started criticizing her own body. Mom's response? " Oh, sweetheart, aren't you a little young to say things like that?"

I'm not so experienced in giving girls a positive self image, since my girl is only 2. But I'm pretty sure the example above isn't gonna do it.

Favorite song

What does it say about me that my favorite song right now is the Dixie Chicks "There's No Letter Better Than B" from Sesame Street Alphabet All-Stars? I'd rather listen to that than virtually anything else... When did this happen to me? Come on moms and dads, what are your quirky preferences?

That elusive yellow crayon!

As per PlayLibrary's advice, I went searching my car for the crayon that's been missing from our chunky washable crayon box since January. I found it, tucked nicely into a safe place... My next task is to figure out what else is tucked away in the backseat, since I also found an empty box of animal crackers (you know, the kind with the string handle - it makes a perfect purse for an imaginative 2-yr old), a long-lost pair of sunglasses, and a kitchen sponge (how did that get there???). I've just been blessed with an hour or so of upcoming quiet, and I can't wait to see what treasures are awaiting discovery!

And a little shopping success story - I picked up a lined rain jacket for Little Man today at the Children's Place - $10! I'm so glad I didn't get the one Baby Gap had on sale for $16.99. I just saved $6.99! Of course, if I'd been around for Kidsignments in February that would have been taken care of already... such is life.

Fun day outside

One of the big reasons we live in the south is for the weather. And it's days like today that remind me of that fact. Here's a couple pictures of our day today - we had a relaxing morning (we went to church last night - Perimeter has communion services on Saturday nights - awesome night of worship!), brunch together, then we went off to the park, home for a late lunch and nap, spent time playing in the front yard and went for a walk in the neighborhood. Overall, a great day for everyone! Here's E. sprinting up the hill with the kids in my beloved Peg Perego Aria twin stroller (love it!). Okay, looking back, in that sentence perhaps I should have chosen the word "beloved" to describe something other than the stroller - maybe my kids... or my husband... or all them... But I guess that's self explanatory. I still love my stroller though. If anyone out there is looking for a stroller of any type, check out Baby Gaga for awesome stroller reviews.

Click here for your good deed today

Thank goodness for companies that (a) do good, and (b) have a sense of humor. Seventh Generation falls into that category. They're tackling a problem that most people won't touch - the need for feminine products in women's shelters. You can click here and they'll donate a box of chlorine free tampons to a shelter in your state (or the state of your choice). Go to Tampontification to check out their sense of humor and all that they do for the cause of feminine hygiene.

Volcano Cake

I found it! For my (late) 8th of March party tomorrow, I wanted to bring this amazing cake that my aunt makes. I spent hours scouring all the places I might have placed the recipe, and then finally just called her and wrote it down. (Think maybe I could have saved time by calling her first?) Anyhow, after she gave it to me, I googled it (and why not?) and found this - it's virtually the same as hers, only with chocolate syrup on top! Who can beat that?

Volcano Cake

Recipe courtesy of Frances Holder of Dobson, a member of Surry-Yadkin EMC.

1 cup chopped pecans
1 cup flaked coconut
1 box German chocolate cake mix
1 1/4 cups water
1/3 cup oil
3 large eggs
1 stick margarine
8 ounces cream cheese
1 box confectioner’s sugar
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1 24-ounce can Hershey’s chocolate syrup
12 ounces Cool Whip, thawed
1 plain chocolate candy bar, grated

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

Grease a 13-by-9-by-2-inch cake pan. Sprinkle the pecans and coconut in bottom of the pan. Set aside.

Blend dry cake mix, water, oil and eggs in a large bowl at low speed until moistened, about 30 seconds. Beat on medium speed for 2 minutes. Pour over pecans and coconut in pan.

Melt margarine and cream cheese in microwaveable bowl. Stir until smooth. Add the confectioner’s sugar and vanilla; mix well. Pour over the cake mix.

Bake 30–35 minutes or until tests done. Immediately after removing from oven, pour all of the Hershey’s syrup over hot cake. Cool completely. Top with Cool Whip and sprinkle on the grated candy bar. Refrigerate until serving. Refrigerate leftovers.

Yield: 12–16 servings

Source: Carolina Country

Today's ministry

My floors are swept and mopped, my family room and kitchen are (mostly) decluttered. My guest bedroom is dusted and the furniture is polished. My guest bath is about half way scrubbed. But it's Friday. I like to leave Saturdays for family time, and I'm happy to have the luxury to do so. And Sunday is the Sabbath. So today, I have to prepare my home for the weekend. Or, as mentioned in an earlier post, I want to work for the Sabbath.

So, my tasks for today are... clean the toys out of the front yard, sweep the back deck, clean my shower, do umpteen loads of laundry, tidy the playroom and Bean's room (with her help... we'll see how that works out), plan and prepare dessert for tomorrow's party, and begin the arduous task of decluttering the master bedroom.

It's ambitious, I know. But the good news is that it isn't done begrudgingly or out of "kitchen slavery" as the Soviet posters would have you believe, but out of my desire to create an environment that is calming to my family and provides a suitable 'sanctuary' for the Sabbath. So this is my ministry. Today. We'll see about tomorrow when it comes.

Edited 5:32 PM: Little Man's doctor appointment took 2 full hours, and that was after Bean had a 'needy' morning with lots of attention. After a late lunch for all of us and my first round of antibiotics, I was beat and took a little 'catnap' while the kids slept. For 2 hours. So much for my domestic ministry today. Now, I'm off to cook dinner and throw together tomorrow's party dessert. Oh well.

Party on!

I'm so sad today's the last day of the Ultimate Blog Party! It's been fun, but I'm afraid I got too busy with other things to participate as much as I'd like to have. So, if I can fit in some bloggy time today between Little Man's doctor appointment, a mold inspection, and lots of dessert making for a real live party tomorrow, you'll see me scooting around to as many blogs as possible. In the meantime, what dessert should I make? Apple pie? Key Lime pie (made with fresh squeezed key limes)? Brownies? I'm thinkin' I wanna do somethin' different... unexpected... Ideas, anyone?

Happy 8th of March!

How fitting that the 8th of March falls right in the middle of the Ultimate Blog Party! Something to celebrate!

The Soviet regime coined the 8th of March as "International Women's Day" to honor (and propagandize) the image of the Working Woman (working due to compulsion, no less). The poster above (from 1932) highlights the Noble Work women around the world (Soviet world, that is) in the service of Stalin. Praise the working woman! And in thanks for their support of the regime of terror, the working women got the 8th of March dedicated in their honor, for the honorable work they did.

And now without (as much of) the sarcasm... Okay, for those of you unschooled in Soviet (and Communist in general) customs, the 8th of March is a holiday that celebrates women (working women, that is)! Also called "International Women's Day" in some places, it's a holiday that was actually created to inspire and motivate the female workers of the world (and when I say 'worker', I'm referring to the working class of communist societies - card-carrying members of the communist party). It was also meant in a way to balance out February 23rd - Army Day (which basically celebrates the Soviet Man).


This lovely poster is an illustration of the message of the day (again, from 1932) - "The 8th of March: The day working women revolt against the slavery of the kitchen." Note the Noble, Honorable, Flag-toting Working Woman, rescuing the poor, enslaved homemaker from the rubble consisting of a samovar, dishes, pot, tea kettle, etc. Stay tuned in the future for some more humorous Soviet posters 'educating us' about the proper role of women...

But today, the historical significance has been mostly shoved aside, and in most Eastern European countries March 8th is a day to honor the women in your midst. So, in light of that, give a flower, send a card, remember the women who have touched your lives. So happy 8th of March ladies!

And the saga continues...

So here's the story. I noticed Bean coughing at night and at naptime - basically if she was in her room for any significant amount of time, she coughed. Then I found out (thank you, Extreme Makeover Home Edition) that those symptoms could be caused by toxic mold. I remembered at that point that when we moved into the house, that room had a different smell than the rest of the house and it seems like something was 'off.' The odor had gone away (or been covered up) when we started using the room daily, but I remembered that initial feeling that something wasn't right. So I called around and hired a mold inspector to come out. He took his air samples, sent them off to the lab, and then I got my report - we had stachybotrys in the living room, directly under Bean's bedroom. So, we hired a certified mold remediation company to remove the toxic mold from our 'mold room' (a.k.a., living room) and do the work while we were out of town.

They sent me their estimate and began the work. When we came home after 2 weeks gone, the company had finished their work (so they said) but had to leave that room sealed off until the mold inspector returned to give us an all-clear. I snuck into the room anyhow, and found that there was still toxic mold on the drywall! The company didn't do what they said they would! So they came back, apologized for doing thousands of dollars worth of the wrong work (work that we didn't authorize), and said they'd take care of the problem.

Their phone conversations (in Romanian, which they keep forgetting I speak) say things like, "don't tell the inspector you did that!" and the equivalent of "doh! why did you do that?" They've done some outright dishonest things that make me wonder if we're not the object of some type of fraud.

And the kicker is, today I found out that they let their business license lapse. Their license expired in December. Now, 3 months later, they've just realized it (when I asked to see their license). Sound fishy to you? In the meantime, I'm awaiting the results from my chest x-ray to see if the mold caused any lasting damage... (need I repeat my mantra of 'ewww, gross!'?)

Who knew?

I just got home from an emergency trip to the pediatrician for a burn! Little Man has his left hand (which is the one he seems to use more) mummified. And I'm not sure the doctor believed me about how it happened...

We were playing this morning in the warm, sunny front yard. Liam has a fascination with doors, so he went to the front door and pushed on it. Well, our front door is made of metal and at that time in the morning it was in direct sunlight. He put his hand there, realized it was hot, and left his hand there while he cried and waited for rescue. I don't think I've ever crossed the front yard faster. But now 4 of his fingers are blistered, and to treat them they had to wrap his whole hand, past the wrist. And all because of the front door. Who knew the front door could be such a hazard? I'll know next time.

Ewww, gross!

The timeline should have worked out well. We left town for 2 weeks, and the contractors were supposed to use a key we left for them and come and get rid of our toxic mold (eww, gross!). By the time we returned after 2 weeks, the mold would be gone, the drywall would be reconstructed, the air quality inspector would have given us an all clear.

We came back last Thursday. The inspector was scheduled to come shortly after - a bit later than I thought, but no biggy. But then, horror of horrors, I went into our 'mold room' (that's what we'll forever call our formal living room from now on), and found the exact same spot of mold on the wall. So what, for pete's sake, did the contractor do? It turns out they took down a different part of the wall, found no mold, rebuilt the wall, and assumed that was their job - done in its entirety.

So yesterday, the lovely contractor came back, befuddled that there was still mold in my house (and why wouldn't there be, since they didn't remove it?), and did very little work. Today we're waiting on the inspector to come back and tell us the extent of the damage. You can imagine how furious I am. The work they're doing is loud (the machine they use to clean the air while they're working sounds like a jet engine), it's messy, and I constantly feel like they're trying to pull the wool over my eyes. In fact, they said to me that I shouldn't be worried and this isn't a big problem. Then got on cell phones and had a conversation in Rpmanian (assuming that I don't speak Romanian) about how bad it is and how seriously they screwed up. Okay, so I understood every word of it. And now I'm mad. And they work 2 hour days - what's up with that? Who works 2 hour days? It doesn't even qualify as part time! Grr... Anyone else have contractor stories to share?

Somethin' to celebrate!

I'm so proud! My big brother was just named as one of this year's 13 Army officers to receive the prestigious Douglas MacArthur leadership award! He's hoping the Army will let him attend the award ceremony at the Pentagon this spring, but he's pretty well in demand right where he is now. Anyhow, cheers! Well done, Rob! I've always been proud o' ya, but now I know other people are too!

Cleaning day

I hereby name today as a Domestic Goddess day. I pledge to spend as much time as possible (with 2 toddlers running around) cleaning up the horrible mess that is my home. After hubby's 2 week business trip, my 2-week road trip, toxic mold remediation, and with a houseguest coming in a few days - there is some serious clutter piling up, and I have to get rid of the dirt downstairs that the mold remediation company tracked all over the place. And I have to track down the company and make sure they plan on finishing what they started... I really want my mold-free house back.

So, no more blogging or emailing until after dinner tonight. In fact, I'll even *turn off* Mr. Laptop! (now that's dedication!) I will limit myself to a) playing with my kids, b) cleaning my house, and c) the required things like feeding my family, changing diapers, etc. But, feel free to comment anyway, especially if you're with the party! I'll be back tonight and ready to rumble! ;)

Man! I love this party!

This is my very first blog party, and I have to say, it's awesome! I've met so many new bloggers, and I can't wait to meet more! It's been a refreshing bit of fun in an otherwise blah week. So thank you to everyone who's commented - I've been to all of your blogs! And keep the comments coming. I'll be getting around to more blogs this week, and I'll be leaving comments with yours too. It's so much fun to get to know everyone!

Let's get the party rolling!

Today the Ultimate Blog Party starts at 5 Minutes for Mom! I'm so excited! I just love parties!

Join in, meet some bloggers, and let's have some fun! You'll have to use your imagination for my all-time favorite Spinach Artichoke Dip with whole wheat crackers, virgin sangria, and Pampered Chef's Pizzetta Triangles with my very own pepperoni pizza dip. Okay, so the different flavors represented here may not go so well together, but that's what you get when I'm craving all sorts of things at once!

A bit about me... I'm a devoted wife, mother to 2 toddlers - currently ages 1 and 2, a knitter trying to teach herself to crochet, a worshiper of God, lover of books, friend, sister, a compassionate advocate for justice, a tree-hugging granola junkie and closet chocoholic. I speak Romanian and Russian, have been to 13 or so countries and spent 3 years in Moldova where I met my absolutely wonderful husband. He's the opposite of me in almost every way, and we complement each other perfectly.

I never planned on being a mother, but it's amazing how a blessing so unplanned and unexpected can fulfill every longing I never knew I had and turn me into the woman I never dreamed I'd become.

I've just started struggling through Yevgeny Yevtushenko's novel "Ne umerai prezhde smertei" in Russian (which my husband most lovingly found for me), I'm mournfully canceling an upcoming trip to Thailand to work with trafficked women, and I'm gearing up for a probable move to England this summer (eek!). The ground is shifting beneath me, but I count on Christ as the solid rock to be my firm foundation.

Gone crazy

After 2 weeks of upheaval, toxic mold, road-trippin' and all sorts of Big Life Decision craziness, I went a little crazy. What's a girl to do when the ground beneath her is shifting and she has no control over anything? Well, I have plenty control over my hair. So not only did I go a bit shorter than usual, I DYED it for the first time ever! That's right - never once have I dyed my hair. But today, I went crazy! I don't think the picture gives a true idea of how crazy I went. But I have naturally auburn hair. They bleached some, put in blonde streaks, and bright copper highlighty things. It's AWESOME!

As a disclaimer, here's my true belief about dyeing hair... I'm against it in principle for so many reasons. First off, God created me, He created my hair, and no cosmetologist can beat that. ..."For I am fearfully and wonderfully made." 'nuff said. Secondly, being good stewards of the earth He created, i think we have a duty to take care of the environment, and the bleach I was smellin' and the chemicals I was feelin' when I was under that dryer were definitely not good for my health or the health of the planet. I do feel totally chemically processed now. Thirdly (and most egotistically), I like being able to tell people that actually, this is my natural color when they ask what bottle it came from (as a redhead, a lot of people ask).

But shazzaam! I look good! And I feel good and have loads of confidence, and that's even cooler. It was way better than retail therapy. Of course, if I'd settled for retail therapy I'd have a pair of shoes or jeans or a skirt or something that would last me for a few years. And I'd have gotten it on sale - because that's what I do. In fact, I'd have gotten all 3 of those things for what I paid for this. As it is, I have a hairdo that will only last me a few weeks and cost a small fortune. I could probably buy and feed an impoverished village for what I just spent on my dye job. And that means I basically wasted lots of cash that could have been better spent on something much more lasting and worthwhile. So in the end, this was a one-time thing for me that I won't indulge in again. But let me say one more time, shazzaam!

New shoes!

Up until today, the only shoes that have graced Little Man's feet are soft leather Pedi Peds. But today, with wet grass and one Pedi Ped temporarily lost in the stack of blankets under the crib, we put real shoes on him. Thankfully, I have lots of other mommy friends who have used me to liquidate their closets, so I had a perfectly fitting pair of Nikes to let him wear. I think he actually liked it. He tried to shake them off at first, then he walked funny for a while, but now he's pretty used to them.

Then he went outside to the slide on the deck, and found that he could economize time by climbing up and going straight down headfirst, thereby eliminating that annoying sequence of maneuvers - stand up, walk forward, sit down, slide.

Stuff

I admit it, I'm attached to my stuff. I like my house (I'd like it more if my kitchen countertops were granite...), I'd have a love affair with my car if it would love me back, I think my kids' playroom is awesome, and I think my piano is rock-on cool.

So the thought of making a Big Life Decision that would compromise my stuff makes me pretty unhappy. I know it shouldn't. After all, you can't take it with you, right? But geez, I want to enjoy it! And more than that, I shouldn't be so concerned about my materialistic junk (though it really isn't junk). There are higher things to set my mind on, and let's face it, where your treasure is there your heart will be also. But man! I like my stuff! I don't want to walk away from it all. Gosh darn those Big Life Decisions! I've gotta get over this attachment to stuff, but I'd rather do it on my timeline, not necessarily right now.

First of March!

Though it doesn't seem that way here in the stormy South East, today is the first of March, celebrated as the first day of spring in Moldova (and Romania). So, to wish all my bloggy buddies a happy first of March, here's a Martisor for you!
Some say the white represents the snow and the red represents the first flower of spring. Anyhow, people give martisoare (the plural of martisor) to their friends and loved ones on the first of March. You pin it on your shirt or your coat, and wear it for 12 days. So here's yours. I guess you can't really print it and pin it on, but it's the thought that counts! Happy spring!

Mourning the TIVO

I returned home last night, at long last. Another 8 1/2 hours in the car with a one-yr-old and two-yr-old, and I think I could live the remainder of my life without ever seeing the inside of the car again, or ever singing another Barney song.

After an exhausting trip, I came home to an unpleasant surprise. The TIVO has been off for about a week. Apparently our monthly subscription expired and we didn't renew. I'm silently cursing the TIVO now, missing The Unit, Bones, and - heaven forbid - American Idol! Horror of horrors!

The good news is that the mold remediation company finished most of their work while I was gone. So I still have one room of my house sealed off with plastic until an air quality person can check it out, but the wall is rebuilt, the window is rebuilt (though painted the wrong color - a small price to pay for a house that isn't toxic anymore).

Yet still I mourn my TIVO.

Isn't she a star?

She's fallen in love... with a truck. Papa has a big pickup truck, and Bean's favorite thing to do now is sit in the driver's seat and pretend we're going to the grocery store. Of course, then she finds little pieces of change, trinkets, etc., and leans out the window to give them to herself in the mirror... Hours of laughter.

Grow it, pick it, eat it

A lot of American kids, specifically urban and suburban, think that food comes from grocery stores.
And that's it. A lot of parents, again, more urban and suburban, don't buy introduce their kids to things like kale, eggplant, and other produce because they don't know how to cook it and they don't think their kids will eat it. A school district in North Carolina is tackling the problem admirably. They've partnered with a local foodbank to create a school garden program where kids plant seeds, water them and take care of them, then harvest the produce and it's used in the school cafeteria. But they don't stop there. They also offer cooking demonstrations to the kids and their parents. They send home packages of freshly grown food on the weekends with kids from limited resource homes. They get the kids involved in the local farming community, taking them on field trips to local farms. There's an article about it here.

They're dealing with so many issues at once, and looking at them on a holistic level. Childhood obesity, malnutrition due to lack of knowledge, malnutrition due to lack of resources, raising lifelong healthy citizens, contributing to the local economy, helping the local environment - it's truly an awesome program. I'd love to recreate it in my area. I'd love to send my kids to a school like that.

Raising a blogger

This morning Little Man was roaming the house - Grama & Papa's house, that is - and then I noticed an uneasy quiet. All you parents know the quiet I'm talking about - it's the quiet that can only mean one thing: the kids are into something they shouldn't be. So I went looking for him. When I found him (remember, he's 14 months old), he was sitting on the floor of my room, he had found my laptop, put it squarely in his lap, opened it up, and opened up numerous applications - including a web browser with my blog! And there he sat, pushing all the keys. Perhaps he's seen me too many times typing away?

All hail the BBC!

Okay, maybe that's an overstatement. But, I'm so excited about this story published by the BBC - it's taking on one of the issues closest to my heart, and takes its example from NightLight, who I've been advocating for since last summer, in partnership with Trade As One. Take a few minutes and read the story. It glosses over it a bit, but a lot of what this article is talking about deals with very young children. It's heartbreaking, but the hope that NightLight provides is uplifting. And, the more jewelry they sell through Trade As One, the more young girls they can rescue.

A testament to global warming

Maybe it's just me, but isn't it nice to have a sunny warm tank-top day in the middle of February? 2 days ago we were jumping into a pile of raked up leaves wearing our coats. Yesterday, feeing the ducks with light windbreakers on. Today, playing on a shaded playground wearing shorts and tee shirts!

Okay, so maybe global warming isn't all about sunny comfortable days sipping lemonade. I know, I know... but hey! I'm going to take this little summer day in the midst of what should be winter and I'm going to enjoy it! (And I'll be thankful that I can spend a few days here and there in the Sunshine State!)

Talked to Rob

For the first time in 12 months, I talked to Rob yesterday. Rob's my brother, and he's stationed in Afghanistan, doing some amazing things so that we - here in the US - can sleep safely.

I had a 20 minute conversation with him on the phone, and it was truly the highlight of the month for me. I got my first 'personal' email from him last week - he usually just sends one mass email once every 4-6 weeks to let everyone know that he's doing well and tell us about the weather. There isn't much more he can say. But, he sent me an email last week, and then yesterday he called my parents. And, thanks to our little road trip, he got me instead. Oh happy day!

I also talked to his beautiful wife the previous day. She returned from deployment to Afghanistan last week, and is having to manage the struggles of repatriation alone. But it was so nice - to get a personal email from Rob, then to talk to his wife and welcome her home after 12 months of service, then to actually have Rob to myself on the phone for nearly half an hour! There's something about that sibling bond. It doesn't matter how much time has passed, we'll still be each others' biggest fans day in and day out.

Amy Tan: Saving Fish From Drowning

After all the hype the list of books I'm reading has generated (all of 2 comments, thank you very much!), I've decided to put down a few thoughts about each book as I finish it. And I just finished the only fiction book from the list. (time to add another to the list, only my books are at my house, and I'm road tripping!) Anyhow, here it is.

A wonderful spinner of tales, Amy Tan has not let me down! Saving Fish From Drowning follows a tour group on their vacation to Myanmar (Burma), and to somewhat of a disaster. At once mysterious and riveting, the novel brims with scenery described to perfection, a host of characters well developed and easy to relate to.

It touches on aspects of religion, travel, character flaws, the 'ugly American' stereotype, sex, psychology, and all things shared by the human existence. It also treats the Karen tribe of Myanmar truthfully and historically, documenting in a story-teller mode the way the Karen (an actual persecuted tribe) have been tortured and killed over the years in Myanmar. It is a great tale of travel gone wrong, love realized, love exhibited, and love lost, packed with details that only Amy Tan would weave together so well.

Is my reality real?

There are things that I know to be true. Like, the sun will continue to rise and set. Nordstrom will continue to be too pricey for my stay-at-home mom budget. Birds fly south for winter. Fruits, veggies, and dairy keep us healthy, while refined sugars, cheetos and white bread will keep us sane. And there are things I think are true. 100 years from now science may disprove me, but I firmly believe that there are substances out there (bleach, ammonia, transfats) that we can relatively easily avoid and that are suspected to cause health problems.

As a mom, isn't it a part of my job to use my best judgment and keep my kids away from the things I think to be potentially harmful? I know that some of my fears are irrational. Like my fear of balloons. And kites. (I'll never be able to explain, so don't ask!) And I do everything I can to not pass those on to my kids. But other worries are entirely rational and it's worth teaching my kids to be cautious in certain situations. What, in that, says that I'll raise my kids to be afraid of everything?

Is what I see as reality actually real? Or are they right? Am I really overprotective and paranoid? I tend to think that my reality is real. That I possess information they don't, and that information guides my choices. Of course, we all weigh the sources out there and choose what to cling to and what to discard. Is my perception skewed?

Am I really a bad mom because I don't want Little Man exposed to an R-rated movie that's packed with fight scenes and murder? Or because I don't want Bean eating raw eggs that could be tainted with salmonella? Sure, I ate raw cookie dough as a child and lived. And chances are, she will too. But as long as there's a chance that it has salmonella, what's the harm until waiting until it's cooked to eat it? Does that really make me a 'scared, anxious, overprotective mom'? Or when I wipe the chemical residue off a toy that someone else has just cleaned with bleach, and I can still see the little slimy bleach bubbles on it - am I really paranoid just because I want to wipe those off before putting it in a 2 year old's little hands?

I'm so sick of the judgment. When it comes from a stranger (which it inevitably does, sometimes), I can shrug it off pretty easily and move on. But when it comes from someone I know and love, someone I see regularly, and they make judgmental comments about what a paranoid freak of a mom I am, it doesn't take long before it gets old.

Changes

What do you do when everything in your life seems to be shifting? What do you do when you were perfectly happy when the ground beneath your feet was solid but suddenly starts to quake? Change comes in lots of forms, that's why there are so many words to describe it - progress, turmoil, adjustment, development, modification, evolution... Some of them imply positive change, others - negative.

I don't think we can describe the change in our lives until we're on the other side of it. At one point it might seem like progress, then we get through it and realize that it actually caused turmoil. Or vice versa.

I'm in a place where the ground seems to be shifting beneath my feet. All I can do is hold on and enjoy the ride. I don't know where the shift will take me, but I can rely on my stoic yet inspiring husband to be the constant in all of this, and that reminds me how very blessed I am.

As I look into the relatively near future, I see that major change might be on the horizon and I feel entirely insecure. I cling to the promises I know though - "I know the plans I have for you, plans for welfare and not for calamity, to give you a future and a hope." Why is that all I see is calamity? There's a lot to be said for stepping forward with faith. Moses did it. God didn't separate the waters of the Red Sea until the Israelites stepped into the water. Surely all they could see was calamity. But at least they had a pillar of fire by night and a pillar of cloud by day. Where are my pillars? How do I know I'm going in the right direction? There's a lot to be said for stepping forward in faith. I just hope I can muster that faith and guide my children well into what looks like calamity. To alter a saying, it looks like calamity, it sounds like calamity, but the right answer must be Jesus!

Here's to hoping I can step out in faith. On my knees today, seeking His will.

We survived!

All 3 of us survived the road trip, we're safe and sound at Grandma and Papa's house, and the kids are loving it. And, we made it in a record 7 1/2 hours! Yeah!

Road trippin'

I'm heading out with my kids today - 8 hours of driving to spend a week and a half with the grandparents. Just me, a 2 year old and a one year old, in the car for 8 wonderful hours! (Hubby's on a business trip traveling around Europe - rough life, right?)

Mama's intuition

Thank goodness for that little voice inside! Whether you call it a sixth sense, pure intuition, or the whisperings of the spirit, when it speaks, Listen! I noticed that my little girl, Bean, was coughing at night and at naptime. There can be plenty of explanations for that, but something inside me said it was mold. ('eww, gross!') So, the mold inspector came out, we dropped nearly $500 for that, as soon as the suspicion came we moved Bean into Little Man's room.

Some thought I was overreacting - was it really worth moving Bean based on a suspicion, when neither child sleeps well when they're together? And is a mold inspection really worth nearly $500? I'm so glad I did it. There's toxic mold ('eww, gross!') growing in the bay window under Bean's room, and the gases are building up in her room. The moral of the story: Always trust your instinct.

So now, Bean and Little Man will be roommates until the work is done. And the work entails sealing off the area with some sort of 'bubble,' ripping out the ceiling, and then ripping out as much of the wall as necessary to eradicate the mold ('eww gross!).



What really upsets me is that we had 3 contractors come out during the summer to look at the bay window and tell us if there was a leak of some sort or water coming in from somewhere. All 3 contractors showed us different 'possible' problems. Of all 3 of them, no one noticed the gaping hole where the siding wasn't sealed to the bay window. The mold inspector found it. And the gaping hole is so big that you can see into it, from the top of the window to the base of the house. Shouldn't a professional notice something like that?

Feelin the love

Yeah! It feels so nice to be recognized! Us stay-at-home moms kind of forget what that's like. You know, there's no one around to say, "wow! that was a remarkably fast and agile diaper change!" or "hey, how'd you get those floors to sparkle like that?," or the one I'd really like someone to say to me, "you just MUST tell me how you season your broccoli!"

Anyhow, the recognition comes from Owlpress for my I Am post. Out of all the wonderful bloggers out there who submitted theirs, she thought mine was finalist-worthy. I must say I'm a bit confused - I'm not convinced that I belong in the finalist category. And I'm entirely flattered by the warm fuzzy comments from everyone. I feel loved!

See for yourself though, read the 6 finalists, and then submit your vote.

Fight Hunger: Download a cookbook!

Barilla pasta is giving $1 to America's Second Harvest, a food bank organization, for every cookbook downloaded in February, up to $100,000. The cookbook has 10-12 recipes created by well-known chefs, and the recipes are inspired by favorite pasta dishes of celebrities. There's a picture for each one, and they range from typical family-friendly meals to gourmet style.

Anyhow, whether or not you plan on using the recipes, download it here to help fight hunger in America! You'll have to register (so Barilla can make sure you're a real person and 'worthy' of their buck), but it's painless. And once you've downloaded it, get the word out. Let's make sure America's Second Harvest gets some good funding out of this!

Woo Hoo! Welcome home C.!

I'm stoked! My sister-in-law, C., comes home this morning from Afghanistan! She's been flying Black Hawk helicopters there for about 12 months, to the day, and in 2 hours her plane will touch down. Unfortunately I can't be there to welcome here - Ft. Drum in New York is a long way away, and it's somewhat inaccessible with the weather the way it is now.

C.'s husband, my brother, is still in Afghanistan, and will be until some time this summer. I'm sad that they're not together, but I'm very happy that C. is home (or will be in 2 hours).

Woo hoo! One home, one more to go.

Inspirations

George Verwer spoke today at Perimeter. I'd have to say it ranks up there as one of those 'turning point' moments. It was Global Outreach Sunday, and the Global Outreach team (think 'missions') handed out country specific boxes to everyone. You could choose between one of Perimeter's 8 partner countries/regions (Thailand, China, India, Guatemala, Tanzania, Poland, Central Asia, or the Arab world) and the box contains things like a country specific prayer calendar, piggy bank, fridge magnet. It was really well done.

The worship was amazing today - the worship team really outdid themselves, and there was so much energy in the congregation! It was awesome. There was a powerful time of prayer for the partner countries, and after that, George Verwer stepped up. George is the founder of Operation Mobilisation, and a highly respected missiologist and theologian. Come to find out today, he's also a bit eccentric and really fun to be around. In fact, one of the questions he asked today was "Why are American [Christians] so boring?" As he said, Hudson Taylor could walk through the door and no one would so much as bat an eye. George is, by the way, an American, though he's lived overseas for the last 46 years.

He gave a challenge, at the heart of which is a longing for more holistic missions, to adopt one of the seven people on the side of the road. Using the text about the good Samaritan who comes across a stranger who's been robbed and beaten up, he expanded that to say that today there are seven strangers on the side of the world. They are:

• At risk children
• Abused women
• AIDS/HIV patients
• the extreme poor
• those who lack clean water
• the unborn
• the environment
  

Will we be good Samaritans to one of the seven? That's all he asked - choose one. I have a good idea of which one I'm going to focus on. To be sure though, I think putting these issues in this format helps keep all the issues on the radar. By being intentional, we can in fact act in small ways to have an impact daily on several of them. Anyhow, when George Verwer speaks, it's really powerful. And furthermore, it's nice to see evangelical Christians finally taking up the causes that, until now, have been taken up only by (or primarily by) secular organizations.

I shook his hand after the service (I shook George Verwer's hand!). And then when I got home I sent him an email about Trade As One and NightLight. I don't know if he'll find either compelling enough to get involved. But if he does... man, can he motivate people and get them on board!

I never thought

...I'd hear myself say "don't drag your baby brother around on a leash!" Need I say more?

Ah, the joy of home ownership...

How nice it is to sink our entire paycheck into a money pit! Yes, that's really what a house is anyhow, isn't it? Home sweet home. Okay, so it is the place I brought my children home to after they were born, and it is where I spend the lion's share of my time and energy. But I've just written a check for nearly $500 (!) to a man who came to check for mold. MOLD! (as something inside me says, 'ewww, gross!')

It'll take until the end of the day Tuesday to get the lab results back, but he just showed me what shoddy work the builders did, and what shoddy work the contractors did who repaired things when we bought the house from the previous owners. (Hint: if you're buying a house and the inspector finds problems, negotiate the price of the house so you can have the work done, don't ask the sellers to have fix it!) It seems like pride in workmanship is a thing of the past! (no offense to you honest hard-working contractors out there. but hey! what's up with those other guys who cut corners - literally?)

But now I wait. The good news would be, 'gee, Mrs. C., with all the water damage from shoddy contracts, your house officially has no mold, no lasting damage, and it's all good!'. (Okay God, did you hear that?) The bad news would be that one side of our house is rotted out with toxic mold (again, ewww, gross!), we have to leave immediately so mold remediators can come in and tear down the walls and rebuild them, and oh, homeowners insurance doesn't cover that type of thing.

So, here's waiting until Tuesday.

Edited 3/15/07: The bad news won. We're still tearing down more and more of the wall and ceiling, and oh! by the way, insurance doesn't cover one red cent of it.

Claim to fame

Jodi Benson, the voice of Ariel in the Little Mermaid, spoke at Perimeter today and she was awesome! She surprised us by singing "Part of your world" for us - in fact, she sang it specifically for and to a couple of young girls in the audience.

It was a "coffee talk" - an intimate brunch for ladies in the church, and she was the speaker. She gave her personal story, from her rather bizarrely difficult childhood to her Broadway success and beyond, marriage, marital problems, miscarriages, her story of how God pursued her through it all, and gave her a husband who wouldn't stop trying. It was a beautiful story. And she closed with 2 breathtaking songs.

Her story touched a lot of people, and it was refreshing to see how vulnerable she allowed herself to be in front of 150 strangers! It was a great God story. I love those!

Cleopatra Stratan - Ghita

This is a 3 year old in Moldova, singing in Romanian. For those of you who don't speak Romanian (and why wouldn't you?) :), let me translate. She's singing to and looking for the boy she has a crush on, Ghita, with gems like, "I know you like me too," "Show me another girl would love you this much", or "I waited for you at the door of the preschool," and "Come, but not with empty hands like usual!". Really, adorable.

Super Bowl Fare

The challenge: to make a last minute tasty appetizer to bring along to a last minute Super Bowl party without having to make the dreaded trip to the grocery store in sub-freezing temperatures. It took some creativity, but I was successful! I did pizzetta triangles from the Pampered Chef Season's Best cookbook, and created my own pizza dip to go along with it. Here are the recipes:

Pizzetta Triangles
Based on what I remember from the Pampered Chef Season's Best cookbook

Ingredients
1 package refrigerated pizza crust
1 TBS olive oil
1 TBS pizza seasoning
handful of Italian cheese of some sort (parmesan, mozzarella, asiago - something like that)

Roll out the pizza crust, spread with olive oil, sprinkle the seasoning and cheese over the top. Cut into triangles with a pizza cutter, then bake at 375 for 10 minutes or until golden.

Pepperoni Pizza Dip
my very own creation

Ingredients
Whole head of roasted garlic
1 can condensed cream of tomato soup (I used Campbell's Healthy Request)
1 can diced tomatoes with green chilies
1 cup prepared mashed potatoes (I used instant, prepared with water)
1/4 c. Parmesan cheese
handful of turkey pepperoni slices, diced
1 TBS pizza seasoning
1 tsp seasoned salt

Roast head of garlic (cut off the end of the head but leave cloves unpeeled, drizzle with olive oil, wrap in aluminum foil, and roast in 400 degree oven for 35-45 minutes, then squeeze the garlic out of the cloves). Mix all ingredients together (with roasted garlic), bake at 350 for 15-20 minutes or until warm.

Yum! My disclaimer - I don't measure anything, so all measurements are estimations.

I can't wait to show up at the Super Bowl Party with my yummy pizza appetizer!

The War on Terror and other such things

After a 2 week blog hiatus here I am writing 3 posts in one day. I feel the need to comment though on this whole war thing though. It hits home. The day after the state of the union address I found an unwelcome message in my inbox. My brother (who I always welcome emails from) was notifying us that his deployment to Afghanistan (he's in his 11th month there with the 10th Mtn., and he already served a year in Iraq with the 101st when troops first went in) had been extended until June-ish.

Now, his unit is doing some amazing things that no one else in the army is doing, or has ever done to my knowledge. They're out, not on a base, living in a river valley doing some really inventive stuff - from winning the hearts and minds of Afghani civilians by building schools and giving them protection, to searching for Taliban forces and providing security to contractors in the region. What he and his soldiers are doing is pretty amazing, but also highly dangerous.

We were told weeks ago not to send any more mail - he'd be coming home soon. Then wham, a week later, we get this email from him that he's there longer. My first instinct was to lash out at our Commander In Chief. Thank you, El Presidente, for deciding to further risk my brother's life. But, after actually using my head and looking into the issues a bit further, and after hearing Rob's take on it, I think we need to stay the course. Yes, our troops are stretched. Yes, they're underpaid and undersupported. But pulling them out of the hot zones will not make our country or the world a safer place to live. Here's an excerpt from Rob's email:

I just want to say up front that we all believe this to be the right decision on the part of the President and the SECDEF. We have known for awhile that this was being considered, and in an effort to hold on to the peace that we have been fighting for over the past 11 months this is the right choice. We know the area, we will stay in place while our follow on unit, the 82nd, will move somewhere else. So for now, things will stay as they are.

In the mean time, keep all of our soldiers in your prayers. This will be a difficult time for our soldiers, but their strength of will and sense of duty is truly an amazing thing to behold on a daily basis. At the end of the day, we will be fine. As a matter fact, we will do very well over here and the company will continue to bond and get stronger through our continued deployment.

Thanks to all of you for your support up to this point and I look forward to it continuing over the next few months! Take care.

While most of us here stateside have varied opinions about the war and how soon our troops should come home, support for the war is decreasing. There are so many people who give monologues on what we should do. But talk to the troops. Talk to the ones who have come home or the ones who are still on the ground, and see what they have to say about the situation. Every soldier I've talked to who's served in Iraq says that sending more troops is 100% the right thing to do. They're not talking out of selfish motives. More troops in Iraq (or Afghanistan) means more time away from their families, more missed birthdays and Christmases, more missed births, and frankly they put their lives on the line every day they spend in combat. And they're the ones saying, yes, let us do our jobs.

In our day to day lives, that means a couple things. One, perhaps we (we consisting of those of us who have not been to Iraq or Afghanistan in recent months) should stop pretending we know what to do. And two, let's show a little more support for the men and women who put their lives on the line daily and sacrifice time with their families for our greater safety.

I Am...

I am the carrot top baby born by the cherry trees to a former cheerleader mom and a career-ladder-climbing dad
Who watched her big brother morning, noon, and night and had crater-sized dimples when she smiled.

I am the child who played with legos and barbies and was mortally afraid of dragon-flies and jungle gyms,
Who loved spaghetti and cheerios and especially anything of big brother's
Who stored all his toys in my treasure box
Who dreamed of all things far away and make believe, and never thought she would be big enough to wear makeup.

I am the teenager who sought meaning in music
Who wore nothing fashionable or fun, and loved her comfy running clothes and hated the freckles she couldn't get rid of
Who wrecked her knee playing a sport she only pretended to like and then feigned disappointment she couldn't play it anymore,
Who dreamed of saxophones and flutes and knew someday she would play at Carnegie Hall.

I am the woman who crossed oceans to find meaning and spread the Hope
Whose highest priorities are Faith and Family
I am the mother who loves to sing and dance and goes crazy if I have to draw one more picture of a truck
and whose moments of perfect bliss come when child sized arms need a snuggle and baby's breath is warm against my chest
I am the Mom who loves cooking and avoids swingsets because of an irrational fear and who can drown a day's stress in a warm bubble bath with duckies.

I am the woman who always finds the bright side and looks for the best in everyone and is hardest on herself
I am the person who knows beyond doubt that it'll all work out in the end and then somehow it always does
I am the woman who still loves cheerios and spaghetti, but could do without the barbies
Who still longs to have the Scripture written on my heart, only without the time spent learning it
I am the person who dreams of leaving a legacy and influencing change and is grateful for a husband who keeps my feet on the ground
and who hopes to achieve something whose meaning will endure for generations.

Edited 2/3/07: Oops! I got so into writing this I forgot to give an intro! This is my "I Am...", based on a format found at Owl Haven's blog. It's similar to the Where I'm From post I did last month, but different.

Can spanking really be made a crime?

I must admit, I've been a blog slacker lately. Honestly, 2 weeks and no posts! Shame on me... On the other hand, in the last 2 weeks I've accomplished quite a bit outside of the blog world (coincidence? I think not...) The good news is that my house is cleaner and more organized than it's been in many many months. My kids have had lots and lots of 'mommy time,' and I've managed to get my 'mompreneur' business idea rolling. Yippee! But I'm back. I missed blogging - really, I did. It may be a somewhat dysfunctional excuse for community, but that's okay.

Since I've been 'away,' a bill has been put forward in California to outlaw spanking. The idea behind the bill is nice - curb child abuse by making it illegal to ever hit a child. And for the sake of our children, perhaps child abuse laws should be re-evaluated and social workers be given a little more resources to do their jobs. However, banning corporal punishment isn't the answer.

My position on spanking... as a last resort, when other means of correction have been exhausted, a child who is able to discern right from wrong in a given situation may need something as harsh as a spanking to teach and correct behavior. I'm well aware that the American Academy of Pediatrics and virtually every psychologist on the planet advise against it. But let's face it, as parents we have to teach our children right from wrong. We have to teach them to avoid things that are harmful to themselves or others. Never in a million years would I have thought I'd ever need to spank the Bean. But I was wrong. I've only officially spanked her once. But she has gotten a mild pop on the well-diapered rear twice. And it killed me to do it! I've been told by moms with older kids that the key to avoiding spanking is being creative with discipline. Perhaps I'm not creative enough. Please, share your creative discipline tips with me. For the sake of wisdom and for my kids' wellbeing.

If you are going to spank, I think the following is pretty well accepted as guidelines: Don't spank out of anger or emotion. Examine the child's motives for their behavior. Examine your own role in your child's behavior (if your kid is hungry and you skipped naps today, you can't expect him to be an angel). Use loving words and assure your unconditional love for the child before and after spanking. Be more liberal with hugs and cuddles than you are with spanking. Vary your discipline techniques - there's more to discipline than time outs and spanking.

Let's go back to that bill in California. What would happen if the bill was passed? Potentially, neighbors, store clerks, etc. would start reporting well-meaning parents for any possible infringement of the law, adding enormous work loads for already overworked social workers and police officers. Spanking, already a taboo topic among all but very close friends, would become even more taboo, leaving many parents without the much needed counsel and wisdom of friends. Would that really help the situation? Honestly, the parents who fret and worry about whether or not it's okay to spank are worlds different than the parents who abuse their children without batting an eye. Changing the law will not hinder them in the least. It would only deepen the stigma we feel when our children's behavior is dangerous enough to necessitate some sort of discipline that will get their attention.

Here's a link to a news story about the bill, and one to NPR's radio coverage of it. All Things Considered had commentary from a woman who was a meditative Eastern Orthodox Christian, saying that though she has spanked her son once and won't apologize for it, she is inherently against spanking. She claimed that anyone who believes in seeking God should be focused on the inner life - the life of the spirit - and that spanking is the opposite of this and teaches our kids the opposite. While I won't call her a meditative fruitcake, I do think her theology is a bit skewed. God isn't concerned only with the spiritual side of life - He's very much involved with, sovereign over, and concerned about our physical lives. He deeply loves our children, perhaps more than we as parents do. And just as He chastens His followers and requires us to feel the consequences of our actions, He expects us as parents to do the same for our children. The Bible actually says "Don't fail to correct your children. They won't die if you spank them. Physical discipline may well save them from death." (Proverbs 23: 13-14, NLT) The rod mentioned throughout Proverbs is the same as the one mentioned in the oft-quoted Psalm 23 "Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death ... Your rod and your staff, they comfort me..." The idea behind it is that we are comforted by knowing that God is just and He is in control. His rod is a symbol of authority, and knowing that the authority you're under is consistent, just, and loving is incredibly freeing and comforting. And so it is for our children. We must discipline, and that discipline must be fitting and appropriate to both the situation and the child.

Again, I'll restate my plea from above. Moms and dads, share some ideas of creative discipline you use. Anything goes, as long as it doesn't involve inflicting physical pain. Tell me what you do, and what offenses merit it.

Toxins at home

You know that wheezy feeling you get when you inhale the fumes from your tile cleaner? Or that little headache that comes if you spend too much time with household cleaners? Or how about that greasy feeling on your fingertips that won't wash off after you use all purpose cleaner? I'm finding out that all of those things are caused by the chemicals in the products. And those chemicals don't just give you a minor headache or mildly irritate your lungs or skin. They actually have the potential to cause serious damage over time.

Things like phosphorous, phthalates and parabens that are added to all sorts of things (including shampoos and moisturizing lotions!), ammonia, and bleach all have ties to serious health problems. They're suspected to have ties to different types of cancers and tumors, respiratory problems, reproductive health, kidney function... the list goes on. And look at what you have under your kitchen sink. Most likely, none of the ingredients are listed. In fact, even if you go to the trouble of getting the MSDS the complete set of ingredients won't be listed there either! Household cleaners are not required to list ingredients. There are some words that can alert us to the severity of the threat though:

• Caution: An ounce to a pint may be fatal if swallowed, inhaled, or absorbed through the skin by an adult.
  
• Warning: A teaspoonful may be fatal if swallowed, inhaled, or absorbed through the skin by an adult.
  
• Danger: A taste to 1 teaspoonful may be fatal if swallowed, inhaled, or absorbed through the skin by an adult.
  

What does that mean for our kids? I've just gone through my house and made sure that I don't have anything that says "warning" or "danger". Eek. And what's surprising is that the worry isn't just about swallowing - a lot of the toxins I named above can be inhaled (at which point they stay in your body) or absorbed through the skin. I always wondered after I cleaned a surface how long the residue would stay there, and how harmful it could be to my kids.

I think the answer is to not risk it. There are enough natural cleaning agents out there that I don't need to expose my family to increased risk. Another surprising statistic (from the EPA): Indoor air is 2-5 times more toxic that outdoor air. I don't know about you, but I was always more concerned with the quality of air outside, worried about pollution and smog. But the air inside is more toxic! (Do you think maybe this is part of the explanation to why newborns get so cranky after being at home all day? Both my kids did it every afternoon around 4-ish, and they were both calmed down by going outside.) Anyhow, we have an immediate impact on the air quality in our homes, and we want, we can change it! The outdoor air depends on many more factors, but why not start with our own homes?

He walks!

This weekend, while Grama and Papa were fortunate enough to be here, Little Man started walking! He's now choosing it (nearly half the time) as a means to get from point A to point B (instead of crawling). It's so much fun to watch!

What comes first?

We moms have a tendency to lose ourselves, to get lost in nurturing others - we curb our hobbies to make time for our kids, we curb our free time to make time for our husbands, we curb our appetites to provide for our kids (or we just eat their leftover mac & cheese with a side of applesauce). In the midst of focusing all our attention on others, our own values, intellectual development, social lives, and personality get run down, toppled, and trampled. In placing everyone else first, we give out all we have. Martina McBride says it well in "In my daughter's eyes":

And when she wraps her hand
around my finger
Oh it puts a smile in my heart
Everything becomes a little clearer
I realize what life is all about

It's hangin' on when your heart
has had enough
It's giving more when you feel like giving up
I've seen the light
It's in my daughter's eyes

That was my mantra in the early days of motherhood. I kept telling myself that mothering was about giving more when you feel like giving up. And in part, that's true. But I think there's another side to it. Two books I've been recently (Scream-Free Parenting and Chasing God and the Kids Too) point out that as parents we have so much more to give when we're filled up. In other words, if we take care of ourselves better we'll be able to take better care of others. I think there's a lot to that. So, to that end, I've started taking time after dinner, when the kids are happily playing together and my husband is around to watch them, to read a good book or spend some time knitting. I know that for a good 20 minutes, I'll be able to do something I care about. And I also know that my kids will see that, and they'll model that behavior as they grow. If reading is important to me, or if knitting is a good way to spend my time, my kids will gravitate toward those activities or similar ones.

Also a bit counter-cultural, I think that my husband should be my next priority, even before my kids. If I can focus on my relationship with him, think of how my kids will benefit from seeing that love in action! I truly believe that my children take a backseat to my marriage. I'm actually sad for women (and their husbands too) who derive their identity from their kids. I see it all the time - email addresses that read "timsmom @ mail.com", I've even seen car license plates that say things like CINDYSMOM. How hard for those kids to know that their mother depends on them for her happiness and fulfillment! What incredible pressure to put on a child. And how sad for that mom, to think that she has completely lost herself in her child's (or children's) identity.

So, to all you moms out there, get out and do something you love. And by something you love, I'm referring to something that doesn't directly relate to your children. Treat yourself. Take a night off. Fill yourself up (emotionally and mentally) so that you'll have more to pour out later, and so that pouring yourself out won't leave you empty. It'll be good for your family, but more importantly, do it for yourself!